i have been alone.
the wind erupts
through open windows,
sending papers flying
about this empty apartment
in the city.
shocking cold tiles
strike my feet
as i chase.
my heart beats
as the wind slows
to a creak,
the rocking chair on my
neighbors balcony.
my age,
almost a fourth
of my life expectancy.
i have been alone
far too long.

the keyboard grows heavy under my
fingertips.
with each stroke,
the past grows,
the future recedes.
soon i will be dust
and no one will ever know
how much you meant to me.

I don't know anything about you
Night is close enough
All around me, shades of blue
I don't know anything about you
I thought it time to start anew
The water is looking rough
I don't know anything about you
Night is close enough

All-seeing
your eyes upon my skin
the strange smile, the lightness,
then nothing.
are you aware?
no one moves me anymore.
my heart is solid rock.
maybe this is different,
breathless
in the moonlight in the cold
you rise like a tower,
i’ll sink with the flood.


Empty chambers once again,
twice again, ninth again.
i know i don’t need you.
i don’t know why it matters.
i was born with no name,
given this in harsh florescent lights
while a nurse smoked *** on the patio,
i was given silence.


Frozen, solid, grasping,
distinct notes whisper on wind-
reassuring light,
lost once again.
novel on novelty
why is there ‘shy’?
i could hold this pattern,
take it onto skin.

blur out all my words
before they can be heard
i shouldn’t admit
what i cannot guarantee
what i cannot quantify,
or even prove exists
that room in my mind
where we would talk
where you would tell me fancy things
it is just wishful,
sinful.
don’t listen, don’t speak.
the light may be on
but there are some doors
which can only be entered,
no exit.
that is accurate.
let us leave it alone
maybe it will
disappear.

it isn’t over-
not yet.
maybe it never will be.
there was a spark.
i felt it,
i’m almost sure
that you felt it too.
maybe there is time
between here and there.
maybe there is distance
between now and then.
i know i’ve shed my god,
and i’ve forgotten fate,
but i know
that this kind of light
is harder to ****.
one day,
i will see you again.
then it will be over,
or maybe it will begin.

steep me into darjeeling tea
don’t forget honey and cream
and hold your little finger up
now drink.

paint me onto your canvas
along lines of indigo and green
and step back to admire the sunset
serene.

load me into your pistol
don’t jam the magazine
and fire me out along with the rest
now sleep.