thrown between lover and lover and love
she is overtaken by the symbolism
nurses, clad in black, three of them
then reaching she tries to climb high,
grasping heartstrings, pulled out of the mire
reaching out to anyone, anyone up there who will see her
when once again, her nurses beckon
clad now in red, blood red, blood. red. anguish.
she goes down, not in pride but in dignity.

well what if i move to a city
and take my paper
and my entrepeneur heart
and i'll bake for the bread i'll eat
on weekends,
then trade it for the vegetables
a trader of creation
an art dealer of sorts

and maybe then i can relearn how to speak
if i listen to my heart

i hear birds wings fluttering
i hear caves echoing
until you reach the liquid bottom
and reflect,
all golden light
on the walls inside.

something is calling me
to the mountains by the sea
i've never felt so connected.

my hair smells like cold
like that frozen ocean smell
like that laundry hanging out
in the wind,
just like the wind

i've gotta tell you
i've found beautiful sounds
in the crunchiest snow
and the highest tides i've ever seen

have you ever watched your heart
set with the sun
and rest in the receding tide?

a universal opening of the heart
breathing it in
breathing it out
cheers across the ocean
a transit of jupiter
and the smiling moon

shining like orion in the dark night
shaking the dust from my shoulders

i can tell
when you want to change the subject
i can see
the flicker in your eye

i can see a brightness
rising over your heart like the sun
your face in every daisy
and a heart in every song

my windpipe itches to be free,
to sit beside the willow
you sing to me your song again,
the grass will be my pillow

i can feel
that you're a little bit uncomfortable
i still want to think
that you felt just a twinge once
for me

something is welling up in that place between my stomach and my heart
something i cannot define.
something i cannot locate, though i know it exists.
i am craving something.
this thing is a beautiful something
something begging to be captured. captivated.
something waiting to be enlightened.
this something is longing to be brought to life.
brought to new life from something old
this something aches.
this something nudges and nods uncomfortably.
freedom for something.
freedom from something.
freedom to be something bigger than this.

this is not the something that i imagine.
this is something more.

my name felt so comfortable on your lips.
two tones too low
two times too soft
to tell if you meant it.
as much as you mean to me.
don't wait anymore.
please. the sun will hold your hand as it rises.
the moon will keep your feet on the ground.
take this hand that's been held open
held towards the ceiling and        held       here
it's catching music notes                  oh       look
turn off those lights and     smile      at me
the shape your face made when it saw me looking at you

i thought
my heart
was safe.