What happened to all those times we shared?
What happened to believing that you cared?
You left in a heart beat and didn’t look back,
It seems you’re the only thing that I now lack.
But I cannot forget all the times you were here,
I refuse to disregard all the times you felt near.
I wish what we had never had to adjourn,
I wish that what we had could finally return.
But you’re gone now and I have to accept,
That maybe who you are isn’t inept.
I need to move on and leave you behind,
I need to find the courage to get you out of my mind.
The harder I fell the worse that it got,
Only making me wish and hope for what I’m not.
But all that proves is that I have to move on,
I have to see that every little thing we had is gone.

I hear it all the time,
People say it like it’s so easily understood.
But a word is just a word,
Until you embrace it,
Until you give it meaning,
Until you actually feel it.
I never knew the word love had any real depth to it.
People throw it around like it’s nothing.
But once you actually feel it,
You know it.
And it’s the best feeling every imaginable.
Love is the way you look into my eyes,
And I don’t dare to glance away.
Love is the way I never want to let go,
Of the hand you’ve trusted me to hold.
Love is the way I feel when I’m with you.
A smile is inevitable,
And I dread the moment that being with you ends.
Love is looking into the future,
And seeing just the same.
You’ve added meaning to the words
I never thought I’d understand.
And you’ve added a feeling to my heart,
I never thought was possible.

It’s not enough anymore.
The convenient friendship,
The lack of a heart,
The never-ending harsh words,
The fake smile,
The nights where I can finally fall asleep and forget,
The times where I can run till I can’t think,
The times where I concentrate till I disregard everything else,
It’s just not enough to pull me through the day anymore.
Pain is exposed,
Scars are enhanced,
Tears flow more frequently,
People start to notice.
And it’s just not enough to hide it anymore.
The wounds that wont heal,
The mind that feels broken,
The smile that disappeared,
It’s all too much.
Trying to hide the pain,
Just isn’t enough anymore.

Every time I try to write,
I don’t know what to say.
You always occupy my mind,
Yet I can’t explain the reasons why.

It’s like a never-ending dream,
It’s like a child in a toy store,
Perfect in their own ways,
And yet the continual joy is too much to explain.

It seems you’re always on my mind,
But I don’t want you anywhere else.
Like a infinite fantasy-
An escape,
And possibly just what I need.

You’re here with every decision,
You’re there in every dream,
You help make things better,
And give existence more importance.

I can’t explain the feelings that you give me,
I can’t explain the excitement you place deep inside me,
I can’t clarify the immense feeling I get when I’m with you,
All I know,
Is you make every situation,
Every idea,
Just a little better.
You make living worth it.

Everything basically went the same.
No traumatic event really popped into my life.
Nothing really awakened me either.
It’s as if I’ve been sleeping for so long,
I hardly feel alive anymore.
Nothing happened to make me feel this way,
It just some how happened.
One day everything was simply different.
In a completely complex way.
Surroundings became sheltered,
Ideas were pushed down.
And I closed my mind to the beauty of the world.
It just sort-of happened.
One-day feelings just changed,
And they changed me as well.
Maybe I just couldn’t see anything that I could be content with,
Or maybe everything good really did disappear.
But I was blind.
It’s not that anything truly went wrong,
It’s just that nothing really went right.

Beliefs are now forgotten,
Maybe they never existed.
But all those thoughts feel rotten,
I guess all my ‘friends’ should’ve persisted.

Occasionally I wonder if I ever believed in bliss,
Or if I just assumed it would happen at some point.
I guess we all must fail at remiss,
Maybe all we can do is disappoint.

When I ponder over what actually matters,
My mind turns blank.
Everything I care about ultimately shatters,
It’s hard to ever thank.

I try to never frown.
But even happiness must fade.
Thoughts turn upside-down,
As I wish memories would’ve stayed.

Past thoughts will always remain,
And love will never die.
I still can’t help but wish all that would drain,
And leave me to wonder why.

I wish to disappear,
To fade into the ground.
Feelings could be clear,
Perhaps all of them could be found.

Everything must collapse,
Or nothing new could begin.
But I wish to stop hitting relapse,
Maybe then I could leave with a grin.

A decision will always stay.
In the very back of my head.
Sometimes I wish it would decay,
At times I hope it will never shed.

But we can’t ever disregard,
Or all our hopes and memories would always be left scarred.

I feel so alone.
I feel like everyone just left.
I isolated myself,
And pushed everyone away.
I sit unaccompanied replaying horrid memories in my mind-
Thinking revolting thoughts that just won’t go away.
I’m not content with who I am anymore,
I despise every part of who I am.
I allowed myself to lose everyone and everything of importance.
I permitted myself to descend off the boundaries of life,
And live in a world where only my mind exists.
I lost the main part of myself,
That made who I am evident.
The person I am deep down is vague and slowly disappearing.
I failed at staying true to whom I was,
I successfully left the minds and thoughts of everyone I cared about.
I cut-off everyone from the bonds that once were shared.
And mutual feelings were broken.
I feel so alone,
Because I effectively lost everyone,
And everything that once mattered.
Everyone is gone,
Except for my own mind that is decomposing as well.