The slight smell of cigarettes
Alchohol
Cheap and expensive
It says where I've been.
Not what I've done.
Sometimes I wish it was more tragic
But I know that's just the kid in me
I grew up wanting adventure.
This is all I found.

The fire in my heart will not be squelched, I am not a lamp lit by the wicked or pure
Call me a burn out
Call me a loser
Call me a basket case
But  You can’t tell me i’m finished.
I cannot make the stars bend
Nor the planets alig
But I will deny your reading of them.
You may put the fear of god in every child that fears to sleep at night but be warned
The monsters that we find under our beds is nothing compared to those we find in ourselves
That the scars inside my heart don’t make me different or broken but improve me.
If you’ve noticed the etchings on my body and look at me in disgust. well that ***** to be you
You said it was attention seeking behavior
Tell me this.
Who cries out in terror
Their heart in pain
But doesn't want to be saved?
I've found my Salvation
I'll gladly show you the way of the heart
The last thing It needs is your sympathy
All It wants is your respect
For living

Time and time again we find clues for keys to locked doors,
We turn the keys to realize the searching was meaningless,
Opening the doors we come to the conclusion that some are wrong
we take the time to think of what we've done. who's to blame?
Our ignorance?
Our curiosity?
None so devious as the curious cat
None as ignorant as a falling lemming
Who's to blame for a door without a sign

You promised I wouldn't find you in a bag
And you promised I wouldn't find you in the ground 5 years later
Our game of hide and seek was nothing more than a game.
For when I found you, you were on the ground.
When I found you, you were trying to hide yourself.
But I've found where you were hiding
You spilled your stomach in the bathtub, your blood on the ground.
The needle between the tile, your eyes pale.
You promised I wouldn't find you on the floor.
Here you are, I've found you on the floor
Yet
You've still won.

I hold my head high, my will strong, and my smile wicked.
I twirl and sing the songs that must be sung.
I dance for the company of beasts that I hold a single obligation towards.
I hold myself well in the presence of wolves and yet, I know I am but a piece of flesh for gnawing eyes.
So I dance with fire in my blood and ice in my eyes.
with amber in my hair and a clover in the back of my mind.
I dance to feed the wolves.
I dance to feed myself.