I'm sorry that my open wounds
       Dripped and oozed
And ruined your new carpet.

With a voice like steady moving water
You never falter
Your eyes are the fruit
Of steady growing roots
Full of energy and luster
You catch rain and turn it to life
Hold the sun in leathery leaves
You are what grows in a well tended garden
A celebration
Of what beauty nature can bring

My voice is small
Like a trickle from a tap
My eyes tired and searching
My roots are thin, brown , tendrils
My stem is weak and wilting
My leaves are chapped and few
Full of parasites and poisons
I am what grows in wastelands
      In rubble lots
             And broken flower pots
I am something that should not be
A testament to nature's infallibility

The room spins with an awkward intensity
As I find myself (once again) questioning what is real
Fearing that time will steal another moment
From my consistently weakening grasp
Unknown forces pillage my thoughts
3:00 am
Ideas jump from my mind like suicide bombers
Burning and fizzling as they plummet to the ground
Confused by my feelings
And confused by the world
I ***** emotion onto a page
Hoping it will save me from being broken
But words cannot contain
The run away
Freight train
That is my soul
On fire and restless
Far too tired to sleep
Way too hungry to eat
Too thirsty to drink
Too everything to think
I mean what I say
But I can never say what I mean
So I stare a the T.V. screen
Hoping it will make me normal
Or at the very least numb

Goodnight Red Balloon

The silence of my world cannot be shattered
By words
Or touch
Or light
My eyes are mirrors
Never in
Never out
Alone in a crowd

Infinite curiosity
Naivety
That is what I see in your eyes
But my eyes drip
Like leaky faucets in an abandoned house
Empty
But for the faded stains of crimes
Committed long ago
That's no place to call home
You are too warm
The cold here will pierce your bones
Please go

White spots on the bathroom floor
Remind me of you
They make me feel empty
Like a glass without water
Like the remnants of a burned out fire

I remember it so vividly
The cold city air smelled of metal foundry
And cut like a razor through my sweater
I thought it would never get better
Until you wrapped your arms around me
(remember how I kicked you in the shin?)
You found me
A broken little girl
Alone in a big scary world


Running the dark, damp streets
We never thought twice
Never planned for a future
No need
We weren't going to live that long
I was weak and you were strong
But now you're gone
And all that's left
Is a box of matches and an empty desk
And me
A lonely insomniac

Vanilla and sandalwood incense
Remind me of you
Of the only home I've ever had
A haven in the whirlwind of my youth

Goodnight Red Balloon

There are so many things I am dying to say
But words are no match for the meaning
So I sit alone
In this empty house
And try to keep from receding
Back into the hole that once held me
A prisoner to my own conscious mind
I find solace in the words of an unwritten poet
And though he dares me to dream
I'll pick truth every time