Here I am again, this **** has got to pick up soon.
I lie awake all night sometimes.
Most times only to think of you.
  Here I am again, my brain ******* in knots.
Obsessing on the "what we had".
In reality was" what I thought".
I sift through all these memories
To find something I missed.
There's nothing I can say or do.
To change the past. To feel your kiss

Here I am again offset.
The ripples hold me back.
Regardless of how fast I swim.
Another wave takes me back out.
I see my goal. A sandy shore.
It isn't far . My bodies sore
im growing weak. I need to rest.
I long for lands caress.

This insignifigance thats me.
I dont spell great yet still you hear me.
This thing inside i need to free.
It will not let me be.
The clock just tick here all day long.
And day and night. The right the wrong.

The song that songbirds rarely sing.
The truth of one mans travelling.
Unravelling. Unknown.Unbroken.
Words that many leave unspoken.
******* tokens for my stead.
It costs so much here in my head.
My head! Sometimes it tortures me.
Yet nothing near what soldiers see.
Or men like me. Be ninety three.
Who lived and loved and lost. They see!
So always be the good you see.
Dont be a selfish fool like me!

I know the darkness found me.
Right in the very place.
It left me years ago.
Its eyes were pitch.
The clouds were grey.

The shadows fell around me.
I smelled the ripe decay.
I recognized the pain.
I tried to try to run away.

This time i know im older.
Not colder just aware.
Never again dark matter.
Will you steal my mind again.

So listen now you birds of how.
You chirp,chirp,chirp too loud.
You speak your words of better.
The seeds of hate can grow forever.

Then people change to your disease.
Your ****** up idealities.
The darkness suffocates the trees.
This time its not on me.

Here i am i slipped again.
I went and let the darkness in.
Now its here beneath my skin.
Im stumbling again.
On the crooked streets of never.
Where friendships break and ties get severed.
Stomaches ache and lies sound better.
Its best just too pretend.
Yet i know i cant fall down.
Its just too loud,a sickened sound.
I pray that noone else around .
Will laugh at what they found.
Again!

Show me how to count the ways
You started to become the shade
The lies showed through
The truth evade
Now lie down in the bed you made.

Where now will you place the blame
For your own guilt
to hide your shame
Or save your name. Whatever game
You play. I wont be there today.
So listen closely little foul
Don't you hear the vultures prowl?
Predators will start to growl
Lookout like the owl.
For soon your lies will come to head
They'll realize just what you said
they'll see how you have lost your head
Let your heart fill up with dread
As you lie their in your bed.

Its been a long time coming. Better. Late then never honey.
A song I promised long since past. A very fragile task.
You see. I value honesty. And such a song must speak the true.
I had to get to know you first. To really understand the you.
  You are a selfish greedy scab.
A silly self absorbed once had.
Holier than thou
Hypocritic. ****

Fungus. Lies between your thighs
treachery defines your eyes.
I think its safe to say you are a nut.

Am I just a never will?  A want to be that is not real.
A would've should've could've been. That hides behind this plastic skin.
A thought that never came to be? A waste of time. That is not me.                  Is anyone remembering? Does anybody see?
Perhaps ill make it work this time. With all the darkest quirks confined
Ill learn to maybe find my spine and alter my design.
Ill rise above and learn to rule. To implement a stronger tool.
Am a just another fool? Reality so cruel.