Stuck in a coma
Lived and died in my sleep
The gasps of fear
The only time I could breathe
Born Siamese
But I killed the other half
Left out all alone
So I made my own path

I am the image of a life i've never wanted to live
Stuck in-between two bodies
Not a man or a kid
My mind flows fast like the blood from a split wrist
I have no gift
I'm running from my own hitlist
The clock blinks faster but the time won't change
I'm hardwired to a life that I can't rearrange
Rewrite these codes that have kept me restrained
So I can find the red wire to cut loose in my brain

Windows boarded shut
Never getting out
Confined by chains and thought
Bound by my own will

My lungs have given out
From what I can not say
Not from yelling out
But from holding back

Constrict my every thought
Subside over me
I hold myself captive
I cannot be free

Always holding back
Never getting out
Always on my own
Never getting out

Choking on the words
That I can't even say
I want to ******* end it all
With the start of every day

**** myself every morning
Just to wake up every night
I'm a kid who lives asleep
Losing this uphill fight

Why am I reduced to numbers
Why do marks decide my fate
Why do I spend every ******* day
Afraid to clean the slate

Why do I feel so degraded
Why do I feel so alone
Why do all my peers close off their minds
and feed this mindless drone

Foreign path
I can't turn back
Herded like cattle
I am forced on
Life of exile
Must resist
A life that bleeds me till I'm dry
Pushed too far
I write the lines
That I'll never understand
How can one
Accept this anguish
Death and life now hand in hand

I'll burn in hell
It'll be just fine
Taking turns
To pass the time
Throwing darts
At a dead gods face
I've learned better
Than to live by a faith

Tired of being pressured in
The hate fills in can't get it out
I wage these wars inside my head
Walking numb my feelings dead
Salt the wound that brings you pain
Until the sickness drives you thin
End this world that holds me captive
I feel trapped inside my skin
End it all
Before it ends you

It comes down
Pull up the legs I stand upon
Realities grip is wearing thin
The bitter cold won't seal the wound
I need to leave this space I'm in
Drive the hammer to my head
I'll be too numb to feel the blow
Anger grips me like a vice
It comes down just like the snow

What is this that fills my head?
This drone and ominous hiss
Of static and angst
In rhythmic time to an orchestra
Of self pity and machine pistons
As my brain ***** and absorbs
But remembers little
Scared for an unpromising future
Angry at the past
Complacency sets in
Around the force that absorbs me
And always will

What is this space that contains me?
Not a physical draw
Involuntary
Pulling my every cell that portrays my being
Ripping, One by one
I am contained between these spaces
Trapped
This blank, faceless silence
So little shown
So much said

With each pause

Another day trapped inside these prison bars
Forced to say the words I cannot speak
Stripped from my own voice the air is dry and stale
Lies inside the books I'm forced to read

No suffrage apparent
Running scared
Eyes that follow
I won't go down this path

Lifeless figures with no bodies
Staring blank
A frozen face
The world is pure to the lifeless mold
A world of movement glistening
Statues dormant from success
Granite skin and marble hearts
Plastered wrinkles won't last forever
Find the niche and
Break apart
(From the mold you're in)

I have no wisdom
I only know my past mistakes
I am only a boy and that is all that I am able to be
I've never traveled the world
Seen the sorrows that I've never known
I've never wept at the loss of another
I'm just a  kid who's too far from home