This life of dampened poetry's
atrocious, slowly killing me;
a poison, psychologically.
I see my life as preciously
as any schoolboy prodigy.
Alas, the eyes of poetry
see beauty oh so dismally,
and absent from my memory
is all the joy that's come to me;
the blackened soul I've come to be
is drowning in insanity.
So in this life, my only plea's
please spare me from my vanity.

Eyes meet
shuffle feet across the hall,
inject him with the needle of your eye.
Have a kiss, have candies
because what's it going to hurt?
Shroud yourself in mist so thick
that it blinds you and binds you
to the hiccups in your heart that
never stop
never stop
never stop
the pink-cloud kiss you had to take
the clichéd heartbreak
has no place here.
These days I'm sure that
vials of liquor tossed from the rooftops
of the places you once shared
crush easier than candies
but the ego doesn't care.

I let you blame me
okay, just kidding
I blamed you, I guess
but that didn't happen either
you say it's no one's fault
but in public
at parties
in private
your eyes glaze over
the dead part of your heart
makes itself present
only when I'm around because
I yelled at you
you cried
I apologized
even though you went home
with him
the night we ended
I yelled at you
you cried
I apologized
even though you came to our home
with him
every night for four months
I yell about you
I cry
I can't apologize
every time I come home
to myself
when I try to **** you with whiskey
you hurt me
where is my apology
**** psychology
I'm sorry
you think I'm not but I am
I shouldn't be
it kills me
so where is the fire in your eyes
that you promised when you said
I would always have a place in your heart
ah yes, it's dead
but do not tell me it's no one's fault
It's mine? Fine.
I'm sorry
please scream at me
please kick me to the gutter
please gut me like a frog
I'll cower then run away
into my self-hatred
and I'll finally know why
I can't be yours
I'll leave you
I'll learn
I'll change. But if
it's yours? I know.
not that you did anything wrong
not in that moment, at least
but look at you now
a monster
letting the holes in your soul
sting until they're numb
because you think it hurts me
and it does
but my heart no longer beats for you
baby how could it
yet here I am
a victim of your pride
"he must have done something awful"
they say
and you nod silently
because you cannot tell them
you have stolen this city from me
you have collapsed my conscience
I am not the evil person
you want everyone to see
can somebody please agree?