your words echo in the reception hall of my mind
like wedding bells that were only destined to ring for a time

The guests have gathered to see the happily married couple
The feast is plenty and the flowers are beautiful

but as the doors to the hall creak wearily from their heavy hinges
one pair of trudging feet makes its way to the celebrations' fringes

The grooms head is hung low
his gaze is meager, Laden with sorrow
the guests look on, the room quaint and quiet
the groom takes his steps towards the great hall, his tears are heavy, cheeks violet

he holds up ******* to the bar tender, his collection of spirits looming over them on the shelf

"one for my love, and one for myself"

the groom drinks slow, let's the searing gold cleanse his brazen chest and weary brow
and while reaching to raise his lover's glass, remembers of the stories and promises she told

"my lover had a different path than our aisle of forever" he tells the guests somberly

"but i know her feet will take her home. see, her Father knew what was best, and He knew she needed what only He could give. She's in better hands than mine could ever be, and her heart will be treated better than mine could beat for her. she made me promise my world, and i gave it gladly, but His will be the universe and more. here's to moments, the months, the lifetimes we shared, and here's to always and forever. don't be gone long sweet adventure girl of mine, you're all i will see in my heart, in my dreams, until the very day i die."

he lowered the glass, and placed it gently on the counter.
through blazing eyes, and stinging tears, he hung his head and whispered to her,

"you might be far, but you're close to my heart. whatever life brings, and wherever you go, i'll be right here."

the groom stood and watched as the guests left the hall
he waited until he had seen them go, bar tender and all

he stood waiting for his bride, his lover.
he prayed that someday she might return, but until then, he'd wait in the beautiful hall of their dreams. her words still echoing through the chambers of his mind, just bells that were only meant to ring for a time.

you were not teacher to me
nor were you my authority

but the friend who invested deeply
and sought out a better me
you taught me love and peace man
and beating drums with bruised hands

you're dead but not gone
you're risen in love and peace
and though i'm now missing a piece
I'll see you soon at the light of Dawn

the steady rhythmic cadence of this city lulls me to sleep tonight
the pulsing heartbeat of night time sound is my lullaby
with windows open the passing cars and rushing trains create a blanket of soothing sound over my exhausted body

here it's just cold concrete and city skyline
here each bustling moment is serenity to my senses

the air is frigid and crisp
it sweeps through the window and encircles my nostrils as I breathe in its city smell
with each breath I grow closer to drifting away into complete isolation from the world around me

when I awaken I know that a beautiful urban day awaits me
until then...

These sharp, cold breaths are subsiding at last
The pain of frosty inhalation is finally finished
I can finally breathe in and my heart doesn't stop

Winter is slowly fading into spring

The air in my lungs has shed its despotic weight
It no longer grips me
Nostalgia and doubt no longer float in its wafting wake

The frigid qualms of this winter hell have finally melted away
Warm sunshine on my skin awaits me
I welcome the finger tips of sunlight reaching out to me

Nothing horrible has happened to me
Nothing dramatic or terrible
Just heartbreak and heartache
The residual stabs of love leftover in my heart – the best worst pain I know

I’m stranded in an interminable frigid winter
No naked flame to warm my frozen hands
No asylum from the slicing pangs of breath taking wind
Finally the cold becomes unbearably welcome
And I succumb to the miserable icy sting

I used to hate the cold
It was bitter and lonely
It cut deep into my being

But now I embrace the cold
Because it is the only thing I feel
Each expelled breath is a minute nebula of hyperborean vapor
A release of masked sorrow

My heart is like the cold
Innocent and clean in appearance
Like a fresh coat of snow painting the earth in ethereal powder
But beautiful appearances are the most deceptive
Just as a winter storm produces the darkest nights
And barren forests stripped of their once fructiferous leaves
So is the weary state of this freezing heart

But there is strange beauty in this cold
A nostalgic kind of loneliness that is worth embracing
The cold grades the jagged curvature of my life
It settles deep into my white bones
It inspires thought
It makes me appreciate what is mine
It makes me appreciate the warmth