She had a figure that was suitable in the sixties
Most days she wished she lived then
On her good nights she dressed in glamour and preened
On her bad nights she purged in bed

Her eyebrows were never quite perfect
She moved to her own vintage tune
She looks to the mirror, sees things to change
None of the creams seemed to do

'Look at me shine, I'll be a star'
She lights another cigarette
Noticing my gaze, she remains unfazed
'My body is my temple, and I've trashed the place'

She sticks her curves out
Exclaims with a pout "I need to lose 10kg'
Then she laughs it away, as if it were a game
If this is a game I know who's losing

She was taught what was important from the start
A confidant gaze, a loving heart
But nothing can outdo the art
Of 45 kilos and worth something


n.v.

My hands are as broken as I am
The nails chipped, not healing
The pearl shine shimmer peeling
The cuts on them still bleeding


n.v.

Flashes of magenta and orangered
over your twisted limbs
as you dance with your eyes squeezed shut.

Black makeup smudges, black dresses and
in the corner of my eye
you have your eyes closed on the rain and you're laughing.

I'm still observing,
but closer because you love me and I love you.
But when you think I'm not watching
you lay your head in your arms and sigh with your whole lungs.


n.v.

The cliches are all too familiar,
With their sappy glow and clean cut truth

I still live with her smile
But I roll my eyes at sappy rom coms
And change the channel at the kiss

I live for the moment
When I see you
Eyes drifting
When we have strawberry lemonades that are half frozen and turn our lips pink
And we can't breathe because we're laughing too much

I'm irony wrapped up
And tied with a silver ribbon
You can't fight biology
But you sure as hell can try


n.v.

In the strength of her back I see her burdens
Something's got to give

This sweat stinks like salt and the sea
That's where we go when we have no other direction
And skim rocks until our minds are blurred and merged
At home we lie in our beds until our minds are blank of the other

Symmetrical face, so out of place with these animals
You stand on that pedestal, wondering why you can't reach me
You're too much, and I'm definitely not enough


nv

These hips.
They are crooked, wide, pale and
beautiful. They will bear children and keep me walking.

Massive thighs that I would wish to shrink
are now the reason I can get up these stairs
They hold power and life

and my stomach with it's wrinkles,
it's dips, *****, spots
It keeps me upright

n.v.

Every freckle, scar, tattoo
has it's place
It's somatic,
romantic
that something is with you until the end


n.v.

My crash at 3.17 in the morning stopped being romantic last week
And now everyone's sick of me, they want to be sick when the sun's up and not before it
I try to desperately inhale the excitement
Scoop the pill up from underneath your tongue
And just let me ride it

I'm not drunk enough to be myself
Let me grab another few
Been waiting round for hours love just give me that cue
And we'll leave, and we'll sleep
Or that's what we'll tell people as we attempt to crawl inside one another and bless the sky with our exaltations

You want to hold me?
I already hold myself with pride and confidence
Even when your 'brothers' hoot as if the weight
of their words could trip me up.
The weight of their eyes tries to rip my clothes open
Just like sharks one sniff and it's over
Blood running fast doesn't tip their judgement
Yet still I'm meant to be the calming influence
over this wild animal when it is me who is being
hunted?