Purity of the mind - Hello Poetry

Dec 2011

Joel Emmanuel

magic in,
throughout the spell
w-trapped ‘round
the beating stick,
ay-ya,
blending with the blurred corners,
in with the mix of mixed-up-**** business,

“who said they gone fight for freedom?”,

out in the courtyard,
out on the yard,
they fight with the message underneath,
in-betwixt reality and fatality,
alongside
all those poison berries
all those violated thoughts by the projector,
protector,

on who’s turf?

“Not mine, not mine” said the machine,
said the auto-plane, touch, voice screen,
said the custom fit sack of *******,

again,

watered down source
of noise,
but in these foggy places
I see no evil,
feel nor fear
the throbbing ‘umph
with my achilles in it’s mouth,

in this purple-green-dripping pink
glare,
       glaze
                           of ‘the level above’

        all the consciousness
before -

I remember one thing,

my love for you

Dec 2011

Joel Emmanuel

Seasoned For A Reason

principle -

a little piece
  of something much bigger,
     belonging to both
                         halves
                           crumbling in rather,
              suddenly, opposing desires
                for an unknown everlasting;

     never-casting
       lines of the unconscious-

   whimpers after a deliberate strike
    bleed so
               much
                  more than
       all the possibility
         of sadness
          in these softened cracks,

     in the subtextual
       slips monopolizing
         our silence;

   possibility  I wouldn't know -

           tell me, babe,
        please tell me when this
                sigh is over

            that you've fallen
                              in
                              in
                              in
                              in
                              in
                              in
                              in
                              in
                              in
                              us

Dec 2011

Joel Emmanuel

Play(th)ing.

****** if I'm through,
****** if I do
stick around to
   let you feed on me,
   see all the gold turn to green,
           o r
this apparent love
turn to mean
something
a little stronger,
perhaps, last a little longer
than those cold, stygian nights
in some stranger's bed,
all those times you could've not
played with my head,
but yet, instead,
you did,
then you'd fib
and say you didn't mean,
oh, but I've seen it -
the dark in you, too,

play(th)ing; whatcha thinkin'?

I've unpacked myself
for you
and the wolves in your logic,
I've unset myself
for the second
I could see it again -
and those wolves concurring with your logic,

I found you hiding in the mirror,
creature of the lion's share,
drowned you in all my care,
                             my love,
a heart without sufficient sleep,
you tell me -
what was I supposed to think?
you made it so easy,
but how it got within me
I'm afraid to know,
was 'fraid to go
into the light without you,
but as I please -
I'll just
keep
going

Nov 2011

her

Insomnia

It's hard to get your heart at ease when your brain doesn't seem to rest
The would've been, has been, and could've beens take over any sense of tranquility that your mind had its eyes set on and destroy the reality of the paths your feet walk on.
Everything is distorted.
Lies become the most prevalent form of communication, leaving reality to become the downfall of our nation.
Let freedom ring, there's no truth to what's been sung, because we're trapped in our minds and we can't even run.
Succumbing ourselves to the limitations of the norm, we fail to succeed in the destiny put forth to us by the only Man that really matters.
We pretend that whats already been written for us is really our own to write, turning our destiny and our fate into our own demise.
It's hard to sleep when you know your brain is wide awake, plotting the steps you were never meant to take.

Nov 2011

her

Dreams.

I woke up crying last night.
I'm no longer safe.
I fear the one place that used to be my haven, no longer carries the comfort that my subconscious mind seeks throughout the day.
I used to be able to slip into the darkness and be covered by its blanket of serenity.
But I'm no longer safe….
You followed me into the dark with intentions so ill.
You ripped off the clothes that it provided my soul with and took great pleasure in staring at my ******.
You mocked my vulnerability and laughed at my sensitivity.
My head swung down in shame, and my brain spun with confusion
This was my safe place and you trespassed it.
You really never knew your limits...
I felt a hot tear sting my cheek and watched it glisten as it hit the floor in slow motion
I wiped it with my foot quickly so you wouldn't see, but it was too late
You used it as ammunition, fuel to keep your wicked ways running.
You brought back memories that I stored so far back in my brain, memories that I never wanted to relive.
You engraved them in the palms of my hands, using my blood as ink.
You whispered them in my ears with a haunting laugh.
I stood there.. paralyzed, unable to fend for myself.
My body finally felt movement as I dropped to my knees in defeat
You won and you knew it.
I laid there in the dark.
Drowning in a puddle of my own luke warm tears.
My hair was soaked and my eyes burned.
There was no more happy, none. I couldn't stop the tears from coming…
I heard your footsteps as you finally started walking towards the exit.
The click clack sound of the heels of your shoes scraping the ground made my insides churn.
When they stopped, I knew you had reached the door.
With one hand on the door ****, you turned around and shouted at me,
Actually, more like a hiss.
You told me that you'd be back.
You said that every time that I closed my fatigued eyes, you'd be there waiting for me.
Then there was a slam. One with such conviction, a slam unlike one that I'd ever heard before.
My tears slowed down because you were gone, but they certainly did not stop.
I suddenly felt myself clenching bed sheets, and cold air flooded my nose.
I let go abruptly and gasped, wanting more of that precious fresh air.
My face was raw from tears and my pillow was drenched.
I can't hide in the night anymore.
I woke up crying tonight..
My dreams are no longer safe…

This is one of the first things that I've written in a while. I truly hope you enjoy.

Nov 2011

Joel Emmanuel

one mo' gain

Thirteen hours on a train, just to see your face -
looked for it in your hiding place;
Made my way through all the memories,
granted your fingers
permission to keener things

took the train,
    in Jesus’ name,
all the way to you;

‘was always you –

the blue,
          the “I’m through!”,
              the “who knew?”,
   and         the “…, too”;

you, as if I couldn’t see further,
you,
guilty as charged
for this 2nd ****** -
      this mind that cannot be un-******,
    one wall, so heavy, I’m stuck;

superseded,
    as you proceeded
to lie with both eyes,
             or
   pretend the love died,
long enough to see me cry;

  truth made to waste,
patience into haste,
       another love story gone wrong,
     jotted down, but not for long;

obliteration,
     translation - you