The sweetness of first love

Pulls and tugs at your heart

Emotions riling and snarling in your ear

Promises

Eventually

The sweet flavor is replaced with a bitter

Foul

Thing also called

First love

Because it never lasts

I hate it

The silence between our screams

The breaking glass

The rough terrain

Where you cannot make a right choice

You always slip up

It never really ends

After the storm

The tensions flow underneath

Until the next explosion

Lay down your head child

Let yourself slip into dreams of innocence

Sleep and know not

The hate and envy

Something I feel and see every day

Sleep haunted with nightmarish truths

So sleep child

Take your fill now

Because it is not forever

Deep notes: then

Deep notes fill my ears

My voice rebounds across the water

My toes dangle harmlessly into the rushing water

He sits at my side swaying with my notes

The hollow of my swanlike neck

Vibrates with music

The one and only thing I can give him

My voice

This is the way he described me

When I was with him

Deep notes: now

My long legs folded underneath me

My neck stretches as I try to create the same sound

Now the deep notes are deeper

My soul deeper

My voice is mine

The lament of lyrics and notes vibrate around me

Weaving a web of anguish

Never again will I hear

The clean, pure note of my happiness

As I see my reflection next to his in the river

Now I hear my pain

As the images of the trees around me are blurred with tears

Same voice, different beauty.

The fabric of my silken dress slips around my hips

The ocean blue of my bangles clink metallically

Rattling my arms to the music

My long, loose hair flies free as the ribbon binding it slips off

My bare feet thump the warm forest dirt

Rhythmically they fly across the ground

The sweet magic

of my dance swirls around me as I swing

the end of my song is nearing

My heart raps against my chest

the final notes soar around me as I launch myself towards the treetops

the last jump of my dance encases me in joy, only the gravity of my landing brings me back

I hit the ground

Then the next song starts.

see this cavity in my chest

this giant gaping hole

shattered shards of stone

litter the ****** bottom

bits and pieces

millions of cold little slivers

look at how the pain and love alike

ripped from my chest

my heart has been broken up

and removed from the huge space

good thing I have some backups in the freezer

The silence before the scream

The moment before the tear

The swing before the hit

The loss before the fall

The love before the pain

All have one thing in common

Anger

Each one cannot be taken back

Ever

my silly little heart

soothed and hurt

often enough

by small things

very small things

like music

or you

The end is near

We both know

My time with him was cut far too short

Never again will I feel the way he could make me feel

I cannot smile the way he could make for me

Only me

Alone

Until the end