Lucky germs on your shoe
I must love them too

I knew when the sun went through your body. Tangled veins all over your yellowish bones. Your flesh were a three colored ribbon; blue, green, and purple. You seemed a lot like a garden where you'd used to hide some of your bruises. You always told me that there was no treasure box shimmering like your sweat and blood drips but oh how poor, how poor of you that you've never had seen the glimmer on your tender eyes that was a sleeping, sound blue star. Now you know why I didn't believe it when you said you were born from the womb of a tree. You lied as much as you coughed. I didn't like it. But the syllables your tongue had made were tender and the intangible comfort I'd felt made me forgot to complain. I knew it when you said you were a karst and I was the river you kept so dearly like the teddy bear you wouldn't let anyone to touch. I never had seen if you had a teddy bear but only for that one, I believed you. I still do.

On Wednesdays we used to burn books together. You knew I loved the way they became ashes so sometimes you'd let me too. But how would I forgive you, oh you? On that one Thursday I wished it were me who'd turned into the pages. And I still do oh I still do.

I wrote you letters
Only to burn it later
Then write hundreds more

Clock ticks
Ink fades

Head heats
(Burning coals pillow)

I wish I could
make you up inside my head

You vanish
(I can't leave this cave)

Because you'd stayed for a while
Because you'd made my head your favorite place
A library, or a cave, you'd said

The idea of you had completed me
But there's no such thing as a complete library so
I am no longer your favorite

And a cave, I made my head a cave
For you to live in but
You aren't a caveman

ii.

It was a promise;
Not to leave
before you arrive.

I believed.
You didn't.

It wasn't a longing.
If it was, I could
just **** it in a blink.

I waited 'til late;
You overslept.

I want to erase you
along with myself

So when the question
hits again

Where are you?

I wouldn't be able
to answer

I want to forget breathing
Let the carbon dioxide take over my body
The lungs would be happy
The heart would rest calmly
It's so quiet here
There is a party in the brain
Celebrating the win over wars

They praise you a lot
The God of War

The rivers would stop
No one needs time anymore
Blood and heads and blades

They praise you a lot

The God of War
You won't let peace become

Oh, you!

Whose God am I fighting?
You are not mine anymore
The temples have fallen
No statues, not even one

Dust
The God of War
You are now dust and I am wind
You are no more
You are no more

The rain is dead
You can't be helped

You were praised a lot, oh, you!
The God of War

Whose God am I fighting?
You are no more

The wind doesn't breathe
I have come to forget breathing
It's so quiet here!
I am the wind, oh, you, dust!
Dust, The God of War is now dust
You are no more-

*Celebrating the win over wars
I would never win over you

My dear Mars
My God of War

Tris

Unconsciously
The name
That
Tris


Let me remember you
At times I don't want to the most


Clearly
The blurry image of
Parking lot
Motorcycles and cigarettes
Dim light
I saw a star or two or three or
Four


Let me remember you
At times I don't want to the most


Poetry reading
The emotions, the voice, oh, tempo
The tap of the right foot
The wide smile that supposed to hurt
Disability in the arts
Cry it out! Cry it out!

She cried on the train
And had an old man told her
It will be okay
O, how jealous I am

I had to wander on the blurry forest
Of motorcycles and cigarettes
With dim light and foreign faces
I couldn't not care about how I looked
But
Blank mind --- Hollowed self ---
I have had the soul fly to search for you
A minute was enough and a part of me died
She saw the tears and the halved smile
And she completed it
With or without
What could it do for good?


Let me remember you
At times I don't want to the most


Do you remember that song?
You said it was my favorite which
I couldn't sleep without listening to it ---

That evening I wanted to
Be in your eyes


And this theatrical pain
Is killing me
Slaughtering me like a goat


O, those special effects! Brava!

It is raining but
I am not remembering
you, not anymore --

Rain
Rain
It will rain
And your first love won't stop wearing violet

Your blue-greenish voice
Flaming red
marshmallow tongue
Long fingers
Short nails

Earlobes
Letters, letters, letters,
burning

Rain
Rain
It will rain
And the wind won't stop singing with your voice

The nape of neck
Soft lips
Warm breath
Marked skin

Fainted red
broken promises
Meaningless words

Rain
Rain
It will rain

You talk so much but say none

You will never be free
from me

You will live forever
in me

You will be dead but
I will maintain your corpse
so well, with super great care
while waiting for Isa to
come back --

Well, the truth is
you have died
(too many times)
but you resurrect
again and again and
I don't mind you
tearing off the butterflies' wings
because they still can
walk
and tickle this fatty stomach

Whatever it is!
Even when you find hate in whatever
Do not worry, for you are Jesus
The Savior
You are God

You are Jesus!
You are God!

The Unnamed Woman's perfume
still lingers on your feet
and
I believe in you

I believe in you

"... Blessed are those who believe
without seeing me." (John 20:29)

even when I see contradictions
and injustices
even when you, when I, be
the contradictions and
the injustices --

You will never be free
from me
You will live forever
in me

1/
I gave you hours
Not enough to run through veins;
So slowly absorbed-

2/
Coffee before nap
Tasted like salt o dry throat-
It is you again-

3/
I'd gulped tenderly
The you, o, bitter-salty--
Heartfelt sleepless night

4/
The dawn is coming
I can't ever erase you
I can't ever do-