71 days
since you looked
at me
clenching your phone
as your knuckles fade
into the brightest of whites
& water droplets consume
your bottom lashes
71 days since
you told me
she wasn't going
to make it

68 days
since we sat in my car
silent
tears crawling down your
sweet cheeks
outside of that place
they call hospice
& we call hell

*55 days
since you called me from
school and begged that
i pick you up
so i did
and we drove
we drove aimlessly until
we found a diner to
eat at
a diner that held no
significance
no memory of that
sweet woman you knew
you were about to
lose

51 days
since you told me
"i want her to let go now"
"she needs to be free"

50 days
since you said your
good-byes
you told her you loved her
and all she could
manage
was a tender
squeeze of the hand

48 days
since your father fell
asleep for
three minutes
holding her cold hand
and within that
short
one hundred and eighty seconds
3:30 a.m.
she slipped into her
next life
dressed in white, i'm sure
leaving behind this
family of
now
only
4.

47 days
since my mother
watched a shadowed
figure leave &
disappear from
my little brother's room
at four a.m.
as he slept

it was her, i'm sure*

42 days
since i stood next
to you
looking down at
a body no longer
full of
life
draped in pink
holding your hand

33 days

24 days

16 days

9 days

3 days

&
last night
all i could say
was i'm sorry
as i held your
trembling hands
soothing your rapid
repetitive
breathing &
promising those
swollen eyes that you
will
one day
be held by her again
instead of me
as you
dance with her in the sky