I think im fat on some level even thoguth i know im not
I never understand myself
I lie so much I dont know what is true
I hate hurting people but everything i do seems to have a negative affect on someone I love
I hate disapointing people
I love when people disapoint me
I think suicide is selfish
and i hate that i have tried it 4 times
I wish I could be perfect for everyone
Even if i lose myself
I wish I could let someone else live my life while i just disapear
I fall in love with to many people I lose
I push away all of my freinds so they dont push away me
When I was younger i use to hit my legs with hammers so i wouldnt have to run track so i could stay home and help my mom (Why my knees always hurt)
I dont want people to care about me
And yet all I want to do is know you care
I want my father to hurt me so bad I'm not recognizable
Then I will finally feel the hurt I have wanted to feel my whole life
I forgot how to cry
When I was younger my best freind died of cancer
I use to be able to think of somethign sad and cry on demand
I just want someone to **** me
I day dream about murdering, hooking up, and ****** almost every one I see at random moments and I cant controll it.