A poem—
is just one more
scrap of paper
that has sailed off the table
in a bottle
with a cry for help.

I**

Does reality scare you somehow?
  I know what it does to me.
Dreamless, braindead,
  mocking me like a Prophet to the past.
And I ****** up.

I hear the thunder meddling
its way among the raindrops
that permeate through sunlight
and realize
that the weather is a motif
for God's emotional prognosis.

God is but a ******;
he and I stammer upon the same boat.

Our existence makes a pair
of helplessly hanging doppelgangers,
orbs of confusion that contract
whiplash with every turn they make.

Two repressed housewives
that put all their hopes and dreams
in a ****-stained smile.

This collision of light and malevolance
is but His way of symbolizing
my shame-patronized indecision
in a way that makes people tear up
at the joy of beauty.

Life is a diverse garden
filled with many different plants
all trying their best to survive
some are ground covering gems
others weeds strangulating the masses
and depriving them of the nourishment
that allows them to blossom into beautiful
bouquets within shared plots.

the strong looking after the weak
the young respecting the old
where they are tolerant of each others
environment and; the need to exist
learning about each others growth and culture
what nutrients they all need to survive
in close proximity to one another
given food from the same ***.

the flowers are the colour of the rainbow
learning to bloom in equal measure
in a place where they are all beautiful
not shunned because they are slow to blossom
or were not given the right start as seedlings
nurtured into strong upright plants
organic matter that does matter
within the diverse garden of life.

As with most storms, they begin small
Clouds of various shapes pile on
Seemingly out of nowhere
The rain starts and the wind howls
As you watch the seas rise
Fear tickles into conscientiousness
Imaginations run wild
For you are alone cast upon a rock
Waves crash around you
Can you survive this?
Do you want to survive this tempest?
Loneliness creeps
Ever creeps into your mind
As the waves go higher and higher
What gods caused this?
You scream at them!
Fury unbound!
You wave your fists at the storm
What did I do?
Punching at rain
Pushing at the waves
Throwing yourself at the wind
Screaming for it stop
Still you stand on the rock
Pummeled from all sides
Rain continually falls with the sadness of ages
Wind tears across with the fury of fear
And the waves continue their relentless assault
The storm pounding you
Telling you to submit
Yet you still stand on your rock
Screaming defiance still.
You are alive
Through the might of the storm
You are alive
The rock has held you
Above the might and terror
This storm has caused.
You feel a new sensation
As you realize you are safe
And more than just being alive
The storm didn't beat you
The rock kept you safe
Through your fear
And mental torture
You have come out into sunshine
Bruised and battered from the fury
The storm tries again
But your back is turned
You have decided
It is time
To end the beating
The mental struggle
Which took over the life
And soul
You can stand
Stronger
Prouder
Of the person you are
The beautiful being
Striving to come out
To find the happiness that truly only resides inside
For the rock
On which you stand
Is you

We remember the promise, the oath, the flowing words taken straight from the

serpent's crooked mouth. We knew once the promise of immortality, the miracle of my

skin and yours and it was then that we had the miracle cure for loneliness. We knew

once of love and patience and kindness. We knew once of sun and warmth and peace.

We knew all of this, and it never once took its existence from our healthy pink souls.

            Lately, we have been paving our roads in gold. We sing mountain songs to the

resilient soil and murmur our prayers against the air -  all along looking for the right way

to cheat god. Shapes and souls move constantly against each other, but we are all alone

in our own thoughts, singular in our skin. This is the threat of knowing, of seeing

clearly, of looking straight into the sun searching for reason. We together (on our own)

bury out cleared eyes in calculations; latitude, longitude and hemispheric paradises. We

are all looking for Eden.

and for a moment
and for more than
moments
it all and everything
stopped
cold
dead in the tracks
of a memory
fleeting
whirling in the sounds
the echoes
and the sounds
of a warped
scream
or a song
or a laughing laugher
against the buffet
of the mind's wind
and the colour-rush
and the grainy
screen of inner views
gone
going, going
gone
forever
(in the blink of a mind's
eye)
going
gone
time escaped
and replaced
again
away it goes
and memory
bleeds
dry and sere
never returning burning
bridges
disappear and reappear
until the ashes
turn back into
coal.

I remember lying my head on my mother’s lap
She sang me a story soothing me into a quiet nap.

She sang of a girl who was smart and sure.
She sang the words and her voice was gentle and pure.

This girl was on an adventure in a far-away land.
Searching for the secrets to hold in the palm of her hand.

This girl always found the answers as she followed her dreams.
She was strong and smart and the journey wasn’t as hard as it seems.

The child falls asleep fingers tickling her ear
She is safe for the moment and has no fear.

I want to be safe. I want to be sure.
I want a life to be something I just don’t have to endure.

I want to be happy. I want to be free.
But what does this mean to Cindy, to me?

Where is the girl who held tight to her prize
Is she this woman who won’t open her eyes?

Is this girl afraid of what she will see?
That life wasn’t as bad as she thought it to be.

Or will she journey to a place that is different and new
And discover that she answered the question—Who are you?

The meaning fo metathesis si easy ot recall
When you give your love a ikss or throw your sno a ball,
Aks fro sugra ni your cup nad dressnig no the greens
Obedience school fro the pup ro you may riks a scene.

Og fro the glod ni all you od nad when you've done your bets
Relax nad know that you will og fra along your quets,
Snik a putt ot get the pra like pors no the V.T.
Write a sotry, count the stras, climb the lod brich tree.

If I was forced by the great hand of God
To hold up my face to the heat of the sun
I’d melt away and leave the pain behind
From that day on I’d bump into everything
I’d see the world for what it was beneath the light
I’d feel the warmth of a stranger’s voice
I’d touch a world that can’t be measured
By lines, and colors, and rays from space
Aren’t I there now?
Things we don’t recognize control us
Things we knock down are empowering
If we’d hold our eyes shut for a minute and listened
If we’d try to feel our way around
We’d see, all of existence is vibrating wildly

It’s not me that so amazing,
It’s the emotions I feel,
It’s a constant craving,
I could go on an endless spiel.

In the cavity of my brain,
I feel flowers of fire in bloom,
So lovely it nearly causes pain,
A heady spicy, Indian fume.

People are in there too,
Stories, heroes and romance,
They are impossible to subdue,
Their bare feet are caught up in dance.

Entire worlds and endless seas,
Colour so divine, so intense,
Faerie voices in the ticklish breeze,
Experiences overwhelming every sense.

Then here I am at my ordinary desk,
Holding a pen in my hand,
Trying to make a boring life less grotesque,
Trying to meet my internal demand.

I just want to dream for awhile

Step away from the everyday and relax

Because this daily grind has got me perculating

And this isn't a blend I can sip casually

So let me sleep for a minute

Don't make a peep for a minute

This here and now needs to become nonexistent for a minute

I just want to dream for awhile

Take an unsupervised escape somewhere

Anywhere but here

Maybe there I can find myself

Sitting on a beach embracing the sun rays

Where she looks so happy

I look tired

I look like I need to dream for awhile

Get caught up in the image drenched clouds above my head

That are dripping thoughts into my eyes

Weighing down my lids

Just let me dream, if only for a little while