I cant write tonite cause my head is out on leave. This is sooooo not like me.
But guess what this is a launch pad for me.Numbles I call it. My ***** it place where lazy minded magic happens. unfocused to absurdity. Oozy woozy just say what you wanna say. My mother hates that part of me but at my age what will change. No harm ,no foul.
My mother is eighty nine and still molding me. Man if she only knew the holes I have crawled in and out of Like the March Hare always running late. A day late and a dollar short. *******. Back in the day. Pre crack but just barely. Saw the beginnings of the demise of dignity. kneeling down in dark alleys and between parked cars in blazing sun. Was not about to try that one. My nose was an Oreck. That was fly enough for me.
Bright lites big city going through my head. I don't care cause you don't care.
I built myself a edge by hanging round Poco Locos, mind you round not with. Playing Russian roulette mad ******* mad dogs. Clowning With hard heads with nothing to lose. Those guys taught me not to blink by osmosis.
I didn't think I was tough just committed. Riding that diesel till the wheels came off.
Something behind my eyes I think or maybe something missing from them . More than a few Ride or die types just didn't trust what they saw. Man was I stupid.
To this day I cant say what it is . Pound for pound big guys would turn around. The exquisite buzz of hard liquor came trundling out of my mouth in seething cold poetry and they became less than nothing in the moment. Spontaneous malevolence. It was gonna happen for good or ill. Cats would look at me and do Chinese algebra. I could hear the abacus click. Maybe I wasn't worth the hassle. Maybe.
Dude I am five foot six never topped 200 lbs.
Dad never showed. I still love him. I look in the glass and he looks right back at me.
Only heard he was an oddity. Guess I garner it honestly.
Lucky in cards. Unlucky in love. I cant play cards it never interested me.
Love on the other hand. Nothing but sevens. I would not insult myself by claiming to have game. I think women liked my honesty. Honestly .If I cant say it without looking up and to the left then it aint worth the air. Besides I would rather you get your cookies off first and last. Just save me a nibble or two.
Mine eyes have seen the gory .
Wrong place. wrong time.Like moth to flame.
Oratory and pure abandon have kept me upright.
Lotta dumb luck too. Lots.
A small number of women are standing still where I left them.stricken in amber.
In my youthful irreverence . In my minds eye a tear.In my minds eye.
What would have been. I was to blame. Of that I have no doubt.
See. this is where the Numbles crumbles.
I scoop from the bottom and bring up the dregs.
Pretty soon the tale sprouts legs.
See Ya.