Oh, How I missed you so,
In the Deep and Dark.

Where I may start to tremble,
You're tell-tale mark.

Oh, why do I so seldom allow you,
To approach me and control me.
Roll me into a ball.

You're an indomitable beast.
Whose whim consumes me,
Initiates my fall,
I thought this was done.

I fancied you gone,
Lost in the wind.

But here I am. At wits end.
I discover its only for you my knees will bend.
The Deep and Dark.

This is me

I am from the wet and sticky.
I was born in the water, yet, somehow I ended up in the mud.

I am from the hopeful cooing's of my sisters,
From the moment when they had held me up,
They said 'you will be king'
They must have forgotten about the Fan...
As I raised my hands towards that light,
The sounds I heard in my head became the steady and rapid chop of the blades of disappointment and failure breaking upon my skin

I am from the school of Hard Knocks,
The place where you were kicked down,
In the fork of your legs ,
Until the moment when you become that which you ultimately feared...
One of them.

I am from the Pool where my grandpa's favor gave me the chance to learn, to swim, and to breath.
While my father's fear condemned me to sink.
I am from that walk on the shores of my birth, where the Geese lined up in flocks to usher in a greeting to their new king.

I am from her arms.
Where finally she says:
'You are enough'
'You. Are. Enough.'

I am from that little seed of doubt,
Forever ingrained upon my mind,
Picked at like the pieces of bread on the sidewalk,
I am from hesitation, and fear.
I am from walking forward.

I am from tomorrow,
And today.
I am from my mother, who never had the time.
I am from my father, who was no where to be found.

I am from being lost,
In the store and fearing that I had not only lost myself,
But lost the only way back home that I knew.

I am from being scooped up by my grandfather,
I am from the mirror they would point as the tears streaked down my face.
I am from the finger they would point at me and say:
'This is you.
Don't ever be afraid.
Don't ever be ashamed.'

This is me.

You know how I know love is real?
I know love exists because, like love, you’re beautiful
You laugh, but it's true
Beauty is something both rare and astounding
Magnificent and special,
It is a moment in nature that is both rare and sudden,
Where you want to cry, not because you want to hold onto it forever, but because you know it is beautiful; and you feel peace and calm just from having enjoyed the few seconds of it.
I know love exists because, like love, you hurt.
Pain is the proof of life, but some tend bear more than others
Everyone has pain, but a feeling exists that allows others to have strength in taking on others' pain, So as to keep others safe and comfortable,
And nowhere is that more evident than in you.
I know love exists because, like love, your patient
Like a mother waiting for her child to stop crying, you wait, tenderly, supportively, yet passively, allowing space for healing and forgiveness that comes from this care
I know Love exist because, like love, your gone:
Love is internal in the moment,
But that moment will soon pass,
Only to be replaced by another and yet still another after that
So. I know love exists... Because you exist
And it would be a pity if you only existed for me in my mind
So you exist for the world, and that is why I know love exists
Because your touch is felt in the world
And your attention is given to the world
I would say I am jealous of the world…

Sometimes I cry myself to sleep.
Tears of Blood,
Clear, and white,
Normal tears, but
I know they
are Blood.