Are your eyes still closing to watch me?
I've searched the walls, stared at reflections and studied my skin
But I cannot find your scribbled face as I used to
No longer do I watch imaginations of you moving freely around me
And I have resorted to daydreaming to feel your ghost touch.

Self controlled imaginings of you brings similar pleasures
But they scares me much more
Concentration to envision provokes fear
Worries tha your illusion is conjured against its will
And pulling you from a fantasy once deserted.

Last night after a fight to summon dreams
Satisfaction was given quick as if an inconvenience
My love, I don't want to pull anymore
The invisible rope between us is no longer used in guidance
And it is burning my eyes as I pull.

Climb the rope, strain me no more
Show me that I am a dream rather a haunting
But should this truly be a cruel tug of war
I beg you, drop the rope
Allow tears to soothe wounds to come.

I have been shallow, I realize that now
Considering my impact on others first
Leaving the concerns of materialistic importance for myself.
In this double life I have been leading I have fooled myself
Trying to find reason to believe in others
I ignored that it is myself that needs believing in.

My critical eyes have become my enemy
Rendering me blind to obvious faults
Without knowing, I have trapped myself  deeper in their clutches
Focusing on disconnecting from my mind
Backfiring because I'm back in their world
Unintentionally, it's all I think about.

It's time to rethink my strategy
Take a refresher course on my mission.
Attempts to suspend the command unwanted have been countless,
And unknowingly, I have deserted control of the living, breathing, me.
I blindfolded myself, but still peered through the gaps
So I'm closing my eyes, and pray sleep stays for a while.

Keeping finger and thumb apart
That is the one connection we shall still share
But no longer will i try to believe in my two selves
No, I will start believing in the person
The being that my movements and choices will give effect and reward to.
Me, out here. Living and breathing.

The ghost of me will never cease to exist
She will float, and I will let her continue for a while.
Don't fret, my beloved enemy, I'll be back soon
A Wendy to this Peter Pan story
Returning with needle and thread to sew my old shadow to my feet.
But now, I'm flying, no, walking back home.
Farewell.

Your endeavors to prove yourself were not in vain
I saw you
I saw you stand in the light my mortal eyes could see
But you thought me at ease
Satisfied with your performance
So relaxed you believed me to look away unknowingly
Convinced
Secure
But I am cursed with a curious eye
And your glow so bright in that moment intrigued me
I waited for more wonders
I watched
I watched you treasure the purity of friendship we share
Just a moment
Just a moment we held it
Then as shadows dance and disappear with the suns ever changing gaze
I watched as you so naturally dissolved back into the darkness
The suffocating, timeless space

I understand now
As much as my unfaithful, treacherous mind allows
I understand how strong a grip the minute pleasures can maintain
But our minds constant tie and enemy was your savior
You brain locked away the remnants of nostalgia
The memories of mountains once conquered
The visions of a hand outstretched
The feelings of a rope ever strong
You remembered
That rope
As I
Is ever present
As I
Let them keep their conjured grip
The mountains are firm in their place
The rope secure in its place
My hand
My mortal hand
Will forever be outstretched
For you
My friend.