Isn't it time,
to stand up for what's right.
Do the right thing.
and for once defend myself?
Am I just going to sit here,
listening to the screaming,
the swearing, the nonsense
coming from the other room?
A closed door, I sit here,
a pillow on my face, crying for
a different life.
I lost myself,
How could I do it again,
No one will ever love her like I do,
But the fear in her eyes…
I am sick,
But when I say I’m sorry and she forgives me.
Maybe it’s alright.
It’s just when I’m drunk,
I’ll stop this time.
Could I forgive him once more?
Am I able to call a drunk my soulmate?
My heart breaks everytime I undress myself.
A scar here, a bruise there, a love... gone?
Can't he see his drinking is
tearing us apart, and above all,
abusing my heart in all ways.
I'm scared.
Scared to look into his eyes.
Frightened to argue with him.
What should I do?
I see her pain,
That’s what makes me drink,
It’s what makes me angry,
I cause this me,
There is no one else to blame,
Except when I’m woozy,
Then it’s her,
It’s the woman’s fault were poor,
That I’m forced to spend all my money on alcohol,
Why she’s bruised? Better than she deserves.
I just… hope I don’t go too far.
If only my current regret,
was something different, to be able to confront.
A regret of him, or a regret of his drinking.
How can I make this relationship work?
When talking leads to screaming,
pouring leads to punching, and
an 'I'm sorry' means nothing at all.
I forgive him, for maybe a change of heart.
Maybe if he sees my wounded soul,
he'll change.
It'll be a dream come true.
When no ones there,
And I’m all alone.
I cry myself to sleep,
In my pathetic little existence,
I am king,
But at who’s expense,
The tax payer is me.
Even if she’s got the money.
Do I make him happy?
He's miserable everyday.
I do everything for him, I even allow myself
to be his very own punchbag.
At what cost?
For his beloved love, that's all I want.
But, if he's not going to provide,
I just have to stand up for myself.
Put in a good word, maybe then,
he'll treat me better.
I can hear her thoughts now.
She’s plotting against me.
The she devil, she’s always against me!
I can’t stand her presence,
It’s foul to the cell,
But I cant be without her either.
When I see her tears,
Even though I know it’s a façade,
I think angel and love and desire above.
Still a conspiracy is a conspiracy,
And its time for me, to do what I do.
No, my mind is going crazy for him.
I must stop, must stop him now.
I'm allowing him to spit on me.
Such shame brought to my name.
I must be crazy, to think that he will change.
He hasn't all this time, and never will.
It's said and done.
This must be a past.
My heart and body needs healing.
But I mustn't see him, I have to leave.
For his eyes drags me to his spell.
I can't take this much longer.
And then it was a dark and dreary day,
When I was fired once again,
Being a drunkard they said,
Well F them.
I came home shaggy, tired and distraught,
These bills just weren’t going to get done.
Life was over anywhere.
But, there was that good old reliable beer,
And I had one, and then more.
When she came home from her mothers,
The house was dark and quiet.
She never knew what hit her,
Thought you wouldn’t have know by her screams and tears.
The blood was the worst,
It got everywhere.
**Written in Collaboration by J. Paiva and Justin Unanue