Dark, Vile, Perverse secrets

Jun 2014

Gwen Zinsmeyer

All alone I sit
In my empty room.
Crying my eyes out
Just wanting to end my life soon.

No one understands me.
No one knows what goes through my head.
No one gets the pain I feel.
No one knows that I feel dead.

I cut myself to relieve the pain.
I relive the stress just for awhile.
Until my parents find out.
They look at me like I'm vile.

I promised to stop.
Promised to let it go.
But how can I,
When it's the only thing I know?

I need it back.
Cutting is my drug.
I need to let go of the stress within me.
Help me.

They say they love me
But I know they lie.
How can they
When I want to die?

So here I sit.
Alone in my room.
Crying my eyes out.
Wishing someone will end my life soon.

Jun 2014

Vladimir Ruduke

Limited Edition

Baptized in blood
Forever to remember
A throne in the darkness
A crown on my head
With friends and foes to rule
A kingdom of demons
Soon to plunge the world into darkness
With four horsemen to lead
Daughter and sons they are to me

Mar 2014

Grim Princess

Intoxication.

I am lifted
above my monsters
away from the voices
and temptations
up above all things
dark
lonely
triggering.
with letters on a keyboard
trying to put my state
into carefully organized
words
though this isn't
really
what I truly wanted
while now I am in
a cloud of glowing white
I wanted to go
down
and sink into the earth
into its crust
to shake hands
with the
devil.
I wave at my monsters from
above
and while I know
my gut misses them
and
so does my heart
my brain is clawing
at my mind
telling me that
I shouldn't miss them
because then
you'll be normal
and stop stressing them all out
like they told us
'just be happy'
funny how the only
thing
that could make me
happy-ish
is a puff
of a sweet herb
or a snort
of cloud powder
funny.
for now
ill stay in my cloud
a little bubble
of feeling almost whole
for a while
before the pull
back to
reality
is too touch for
the big M to battle
but it will be fine
because
It's there
waiting for me
to step back into its dark embrace
and succumb
to my own demons.

Mar 2014

Grim Princess

Suicidal Tendencies.

I breathe in the darkness
and exhale the withdrawal
letting the emptiness sink in
before my thoughts turn to black

a tightness in my chest
vise grip on my heart
and voices in my head
telling me to just do it already

I'm suicidal.
nothing more than that.
my body craves bloodshed
and my neck craves a rope

soon Ill just be a hanging ornament
a melancholic decoration
to fuel the melody of tears
and soothe my own pain

suicide.
seven simple letters
that mean so much to a broken soul
that's only mend is death.

Mar 2014

Grim Princess

Prom Night Suicide

Made up and ready 
Lipstick perfect, hair curled
 Eyeliner unsmeared 
Dress sparkly as ever

But today is the day 
So the dress is stained with red 
Laying down on the floor 
Bleeding out with pills in her hand

Beautiful prom princess 
So young but too old 
Empty bottle beside her 
Fading, fading,
almost gone

Eyes closed, slipping away 
Makeup still perfect 
She’s leaving now 
To sleep peacefully,
forever.

Mar 2014

Vladimir Ruduke

Bleeding Effect

As I hold you now I feel dangers
Am I the only place left to go ??
To fall away and leave me to myself
Memories are just waiting in them
Drag the water until the deeps of hell have their dead
What was I think life was like ??
Some films in black and white ??
Don't you remember what it did ??
Over and over again I die to leave love bleeding in my hands

Mar 2014

Vladimir Ruduke

Friends in low places

climb and climb all the way to the top
don't let stop
ran and ran all the way through the race
don't slow the pace
win and win for all of the fame
don't stop playing the game
talk and talk to spread your belief
just don't stop for relief

sitting in astonishment of the things you have done
but it's too late I've won
while you were making your way to the throne
I went to the place of unknown
your friends in high places are just politics and creeps
while friends in low place will have you in eternal sleep

Mar 2014

Vladimir Ruduke

Yours in Eternity

with a black broken heart to give
with a blood stained soul to forgive
with a deadly kiss
forever will be your bliss
with your hand in mine
on our lips, the sweet taste of blood wine
as we fade into the night
don't be afraid to die

Mar 2014

Vladimir Ruduke

The Thing I've Become

I'm not your ruler, nor your king
I'm not your friend, nor your kin
I'm not your enemy, nor your rival
less you speak to me of items, non-trivial
do not speak little to me
unless it come in a riddle from thee
the darkness that flow from my being
is pure wicked from the chaos that is fleeing
wicked princesses and deadly princes fall silent
they try to be violent
in front of me, they pleading to stay by my rule
they want to be my simple tool
but this is not a game of chess
for only my grim princess receives my blessing
for I've become the dark king
with my demonic wings
the king of silence

Mar 2014

Vladimir Ruduke

Broken memories

broken dreams for broken promises
broken within tainted nightmare
broken heart for broken bones
tainted nightmare of her face
a broken soul for a broken body
I see her but only in nightmares
she speaks to me but i cannot hear her
but I don’t need to
for I already know what she say
holding her almost dead body
‘I hate you’
a tainted memory in a tainted nightmare

— The End —