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i fell asleep in dawn's arms,
the horizon on its way.
i gathered my shattered pieces
and hid them under my black dress
while he asked
whose funeral i was attending.
mine, i said.
i kissed the violet pillows goodbye
and saw the worry in its smile.
i turned around and met with
a thousand cameras held at knee-level,
taking a million pictures of me
and thinking i wouldn't notice.
i ripped through his desert of laughter
to reach her ocean of tears.
she was all city lights and donut socks
and carefree yet caring and i
felt
felt
felt
her arms around my waist for the last time.
we posed for the camera and ripped
his guitar strings from his vertebrae,
but the dissonance of our amusement
and his offense
scared her.
the waves were flooding the shore of her irises
with the burning sun in sight.
i felt her teeth sink into my shoulder blades
as she cried out about the static noise
coming from the tv
and begged the sky to turn it off.
she screamed desperation into my hippocampus
as i sang every galaxy into her wrist,
but when i looked into her eyes
i saw nothing
but satisfied demons and molten lava.
i woke up on the edge of the moon
and cried
because i couldn't save her.
based on a vivid nightmare.
05.20.17
i tucked oversized sweaters under my arm
on my way to nostalgia,
where little boys laughed at you for having your jeans unzipped,
where little girls screamed break-up songs until their voices left them.
i pointed which way was west,
which way north,
but i seemed to be falling
falling
f
  a
     l
       l
         i
           n
              g  south
until some sort of
a t m o s p h e r e
surrounded me,
an atmosphere that offered freedom from the tumor
that formed from within my chest
and i followed it west...
...or was it east?
i was lost in some dystopia
where the one i loved was gone
and the only reason i kept going
was because of her.
she can never replace the one i loved
but she can be pretty **** close sometimes.
her arms were around me once more,
guiding me through the doors that
glowed purple and green,
that would give me supposed liberty.
at the end of the path
was the one i loved,
alive.
based on a dream.
05.31.17

— The End —