she was the kind of crazy people thought they liked
had a bit of a wild streak
not much of a filter
and didn't really distinguish who could get with her

at least
that what they thought was all to her

in reality
behind that beautifully masked facade

she was a fragile girl
going through the world
looking only for affection
with maybe just a hint of validation

her eyes dreamed for the world
thinking she was ready
going head first but never steady
not afraid of difficult feats
but quick to leave if her desires never meet

maybe she was fickle
loathed tediousness
and badgering of regrets
(also, the grossness of sweat)

but on the contrary
her patience was weary
and with the dullness of life
she was starting to lose her faith in faeries

maybe a bit scary

but you
you loved her
full and through
and there was nothing
you would not do
just to hear that goofy laugh
and see that dimpled grin

you finally came to terms with it,

your love for her was a blissful sin.

She was the girl who daydreamed
with stars in her eyes
love on the brain
walking through life
embracing the rain
rose petal cheeks
that you couldn't help
but slyly sneak a peek

She was the girl of your dreams
or so it seemed
cuddled in bed
lovestruck for dead
soft whispers
and faint snores
you fell in love
with this romantic folklore
despite the internal warning
there was this emotional warming
of frost bitten desires
that she easily
reignited with a sensual,
slow burning fire

there has been so much death
around me
pain and suffering
happening all too quick
through that
i learned not to take the present
for granted
experiencing the feeling of
being alive
having emotions
loving something
while they're here
is truly a blessing
every day i have you
i will thank the universe
for keeping you safe
and allowing me to be in your world
even if it is just for a little while
longer

rolling with the punches
faint smiles
can barely look in your eyes
without losing my breath
im drowning inside my love
cant swim
panicking
lungs filling with the thought of you
eyesight blackening
reaching out
while standing at the lifeboat
through watery eyes
I watch you
turn your back

listening to the songs of your heart
holding back tears
welling behind my eyes
chest caving
can't think
im not breathing right

you take my breath away
and stick it in your box
where your feelings hide
closed off
sealed in
tucked tight

im too tired to fight
hold me
kiss me
miss me
come alive
and bring me back with you

i dont want to be a zombie
im begging
please
please
open the box
relinquish detrimental thoughts
im scared
im screaming
wake up
wake up
wake up

please, wake up

"The days have been
passing as slow as a
turtle
But why is it every time
we draw near, eternity
feels like an instant
Entering your aura was
like remembering a
memory you cant fully
remember
You struggle to recall
but you know you're
imagining false images
The memories are
slightly gone
Make new ones
The tender touch of your
skin was like fluid to a
dying flame.
Spontaneous.
Magnificent. The only
flame i want to feel.
Half of me is bold, half of me is fragile
One eye showing
courage, one eye watered
When it comes to you, i
dont know which path i
should take"

-Mal

"Five minutes with you
made up for 2 months of
depression
10 minutes with you
gave me the hope i had
lost long ago
I dont know what five
hours gave me, but its a
burning passion inside
With you i dont know
right from wrong
Temptations consumed
me
Love guided it
Rage supported it
Sadness inspired it
My vessel tried to
explore your sea, but
the waves were too treacherous"

-Mal

I'm prepared to wait for you
faces dull in comparison
to your love

I won't rush
instead
I'll trust the look
in your eyes
that exposes your lies

I'll smile and be happy
knowing that you're
growing
into an even
greater man

and I'll try my best
to cultivate enough love
to be a better version
of the woman
you first fell for

this may be long overdue
and my vision may be askew
but the way I feel with you
no matter the way I try to overthink it
my heart would never deceit

you're engraved in my mind
and overtime
the wind has still not eroded
the day you first made my heart explode

dull, gray faces
compared to your eyes
these things mean nothing
compared to how you make me feel

this may be a deal breaker
but I want to be your only love maker

look me in my eyes
and tell me you don't realize
that my heart beats for you
and that my feelings are true
though I have no right
I've had this fight for too long
and your smile is my favorite song
I'm love sprung

laugh at me
brush me off
even if my face turns hot
this feeling inside my heart
will not burn out

this isn't an apology
but instead an anthology
of past mistakes
I'd like to break and amend
with the admittance of my sins
and offering of everything
I have within

Has hiding behind sarcasm
and vagueness
dismissiveness
become our coping methods?

These walls made from brick
are not as thick
as the passion in the air

It's not fair that time has to suffer
and continue on
because our minds
aren't strong enough
to match the resilience
of our hearts

I want to stare into your eyes
where they are free from lies
I want you to see within me
where you can be free
I want to melt you in soft kisses
and heal the blisters left by clumsy others