pt. 1
sometimes, when i want to think about things
i look up at the stars and wonder
if im ever on anyone's mind.
then i think about how insignificant we in the universe, and how significant we are to one another. as i lay on my roof top
i think about other things too.
the universe, life, existence itself, you.
i think about how we become friends with people to help them, and they help us.
and how when we no longer need each other's help we will move on.
but i don't want to move on. i don't want to lose those amazing people ive become friends with.
i have a friend who's going off to college soon. and im scared. im so scared to lose him. to lose you. and you won't ever even see this, but i want to say that i love you.
platonically now. but romantically then.
im so scared to lose you. im so scared. and im such a bad friend. im sorry. i burden you with all my problems and rarely listen to yours. i feel terrible and im sorry. im so sorry.
but sometimes, when i want to think about things
i look up at the stars and wonder
if im ever on your mind.
m.s.

pt. 2
oh god im scared about the future.
i don’t want to go off to college without my friends and then have to make new friends. and im scared to leave my mom. she needs me now more than ever, and im barely here. but i have to grow up. i have to move on.
with or without my friends i must go forth into the future. and they will do the same. we’ll all go our separate ways and be sad for a while. then, just then, we might discover someone new.
m.s.

pt. 3
i know i can’t handle anything without losing my mind, and i can’t wait till i see his face without feeling anything. but until then, i have to handle everything and not to lose my mind, and if i can’t ill just go back to that place that has helped me in the past. this time i will stay longer, and be nicer. and i WILL smile.
m.s.