A certain kinda sadness that you slip right into
Like an old sweater, worn soft, once perfect for you
But now it just clings to your body
Too close
Suffocating
But it's your favorite sweater
Such a pretty shade of blue

I think I really forgave you this time
But you still find your way into my mind
Linger somewhere deep in my thoughts
And I wonder if you'd be happy with who I am today
And I wonder if you'd be proud of the change I'm trying to make
And I think about those nights we spent talking through the dark
And I wonder if you ever think of me where you are
I am a better person, now, I stand a little taller
I wonder if you'd like me now that I'm a little stronger

what are you recovering from?
Your description says
"Learning to be okay again"
But what's so wrong, darling?
It's hard to imagine you sitting anywhere other than your throne
Mrs. Cancer Poem
Tell me again how I *"threatened suicide" by posting on my private blog about wanting to die
Cutting people off like you throw away toys
Little girl
Are you seeing the error in your ways?
Does it hurt to know you're not flawless?
Are you hurting from your mistakes?
She lacks a fundamental understanding of what mental illness is and feels like
Lavender princess lavished by adoring peers
Pouts in her a room for a while
But it's okay
Cuz she's learning to be okay again
After walking away with human wreckage in her wake
Crying that she's been shot when she's the one taking aim
Has the pretty heartless girl finally experienced pain?
Will she ever understand?
(Will she miss someday?)

the thought of you
forms ice crystals in my lungs
and it's hard to breathe again
i don't think i'll ever be okay

Erase her curls and hazel eyes and smile
Pour thick black paint over every time I have said or thought [REDACTED]
Whiteout the sound of her voice
Laughing
The sound of her voice
Haunting
Dissect my emotions and pull out the quick anxiety that set in at that concert where I first realized she wanted away
The hurt I felt when she first shut me out
The hopeless loyalty
Take back the drunk texts from that night
And the anger when her boyfriend responded instead
Because can't I get any ******* closure
Pack it all up
The hurt, the summers, the memories
Light it on fire
Watch it burn
Try not to breathe the smoke
Pray the thoughts are gone for good