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 Apr 2016
Jenni
I've seen the constellations across your arms
And I know the stories they tell
I thought I saw Cassiopeia the other day
But I guess I was wrong

Tracks
Not the kind left by gulls at the beach
Or dogs with wet paws
These were left by hard times and desperate measures
I wish I could wipe them away
But they aren't so easily undone

You weren't looking for salvation
Just an escape
By the faraway look in your eyes
I guess you found it

I just wonder what you'll do
When your retreat becomes a prison
This is how it ends
Fading out again
 Apr 2016
Jenni
And as I try stopping the passing of time
Like grasping at sand
Slipping through my fingers
I fail to recognize the pile
Being built beneath my hands
Full of tiny fragments of life
That I forgot to live
 Apr 2016
Jenni
I am the leaves falling
Through the October sky
Gracefully accepting
A fate I did not decide

I am the moon as a cloud
Moves to cover my face
It doesn't count as hiding
If I was forced in this place

I am the birds fleeing
From the season of cold
Avoiding the inevitable
Searching for a new home

I am the wind as it sweeps
Through the forests
Invisible until someone
Feels my presence first

And I am the feeling
That you get late at night
You don't know what's wrong
But nothing feels right
And you're too nervous to try
To turn on the light
 Apr 2016
Jenni
I'm falling through sheets
Of iridescent cellophane
I can't help but wonder
How they reflect so much light
In this endless darkness
They make no noise as I fall
Leaving me to wonder
Is there anything there at all?
Maybe I'm just grasping
For something beautiful
In this void
They slip through my fingers
Not hindering my decent
Only marking it's progress
Through flashes of magenta and lime
I'm falling through space
Falling through time
It's okay
I'm coming home
 Apr 2016
Jenni
We ran though rainbows that night
Before collapsing in the hall
It's the happiest I've been in a while
And I think there were muppets involved
But I can't be certain
It's days later now
And the air is thick
With gasoline and glitter
And the streetlights reflect
Off the broken glass on the pavement
I wish I could go back
But time is no longer
Happening all at once
Be not afraid
*It's just a game
 Apr 2016
Jenni
The stillness of my room
Is unsettling tonight
With no assurance that time is really passing
What is there to inspire me?

I lie in my bed
And take shallow breaths
If only I could be still enough
 Apr 2016
Jenni
She runs her tongue over her purple lips
It's an almost predatory gesture
Her walk
Almost violently confident
Heels clicking
Like the cocking of a gun
Similar, but she's more dangerous

She reigns in shadows
Every night
When they coat the concrete in darkness
She returns
Heeled boots echoing in the alleyways
Weeds peeking out from cracks in the pavement
Where she had once passed

She'll pick some stray dandelions
And scatter their seeds in her garden
Beside the bones of the man
Who thought he could control her

She may have been forced into this place
But now she's in charge

People don't see her as she passes
But they can feel her
Deep in their core
She's as cold as steel
And just as strong

She rules the night
And she's a fierce ruler

A man in black clothes
Stalks a young girl
As she walks home
He's frozen in his tracks
Turned to ice
The girl reaches her home unaware

As he begins to melt onto the sidewalk
With the rising sun
Passersby comment on the intricacy of the sculpture
"Must have taken ages."
He is nothing more than a puddle by noon

As the sky turns orange
She makes the trek home
Removes her black boots
Wipes off the purple lipstick
She remembers she hasn't
Called her mother in a while
They talk about their gardens
While she boils some water for tea
 Apr 2016
Jenni
For so long I had been suffocating
I forgot what it felt like to be able to breathe
I looked to the sky and in the orange hues of sunset
I found my freedom
And in the crisp night air
I found my soul
Even contained within the confines of my car
I could feel the vastness of the Earth
And it's heartbeat reverberated up
Through the mountains
Through the pavement
Through the tires of my car
And kept my own heart beating
And I thought to myself
"This is what is means to be alive."
And maybe for the first time, I truly was.
 Apr 2016
Jenni
Drowning or falling?
Floating or flying?
Is it raining inside
Or am I just crying?
Is time moving slowly?
Or just not at all?
I want to stop climbing
I long for the fall
There's chaos in stagnance
This silence is too loud
I feel lost in solitude
But smothered in a crowd
The darkness is freeing
The sun is too bright
I just want to hide
I thrive in the night
Just leave me, I beg you
It's too late for me now
Don't leave me, I beg you
I need you around
When you're gone I'll be left here
Alone with the sound
Of choking on oxygen
That can't be found
Pick me up
I'm falling  d
                               o
                                          w
                                                      n
 Apr 2016
Jenni
I just want to feel beautiful words
Drop them from your lips
Slick, and slimy
And sugar-sweet
Let me hold them
Close to my ribcage
And burn their characters
Into my skin
The pain is nothing
Compared to the emptiness
I feel when they're gone
I'll line my brain
With artfully worded lies
And plaster the walls
Of my subconscious
With pleasant portraits
Of a time and place
That never existed
Feed me beautiful words
Like candy coated arsenic
And let me feel something
Whisper sweet nothings in my ear
Like the empty promise of a faded tombstone
Gone, but never forgotten
Lay me to rest on a bed of wilted roses
And bury me in soil
Polluted by the labors of man
When the worms finally come
I will not permit them to lie
Inspired partially by the song Beautiful Words by Oscar and partially by a visit to an old Dutch cemetery.
 Apr 2016
Jenni
empty and glass
cold and fragile
it doesn't beat like it should
but sometimes it catches the light nicely
as long as it's beautiful
never mind that it doesn't work
hook me up to a monitor
and you'll hear nothing
but press your ear to my chest
and you might just hear the ocean
 Apr 2016
Jenni
Night isn't a void
It's possibility

It is the breath before a verse
The undisturbed lines on a sheet of loose leaf
A canvas still the shade of eggshells
Sleeping strings on an old guitar

Night isn't death
It's birth

A glance shared across a room
A tentative smile, a kiss, a touch
The first of many bitter drinks
Meant to wash away the mask of the Day

Night is freedom

You can’t read the rules without a light
And They can’t see you in the dark

Night is bass lines that keep your heart beating

Night is smoke

Night is gasoline and glitter

But above all
Night is the promise of escape
From the pretense of Day

When the sun is your stage light
And the world is your stage

— The End —