you’re like an echo,
a pattern on a rug,
a wild rainstorm without the flood
I drew an X and O on a piece of bark
with my red lipstick but I didn’t have the guts
to put it in your mailbox
that’s a true story
you met a *****
golden smile and legs
when we last spoke, I told you life was absolutely great
dishonesty gets the best of me
when really I’m alone here
trying to scrimp and save
every moment you and I have made
and I could die
that’s a sad story
and a true story
patterns
echoes
come back to me like a boomerang
I haven’t seen you in clarity
in a very long time
you’re like a horse race track
and I am galloping, number 9
running for dear life,
with blinders on the sides of my eyes
running to run, not
running to win, just
running for running
away
I never found it easy to stay
in one place
in my head, even in my heart
they’re fickle body parts
it’s easy to take one step too far away
it’s not easy to stay
it’s easy to regret anything
and I do all of these things over and over again
I’ll probably always thirst for distance
but if you need to,
you can find me in my garden, where I plant
a lot of thought
I’ll always hope that someday,
you’ll recognize your loss and look me in the eyes again
I’m like a hayseed
having a hard time surrendering to the wind
and I could die
still, maybe I am barefoot at your door
while the neighbourhood is asleep
drawing X’s and O’s on tree bark or two stick figures kissing
with sidewalk chalk
I dreamt you were with someone else
you drank lemonade and held hands,
a perfect summer romance
it made me want to die
it made me want to write you a letter and then burn it
but I decided to repress it all instead
I’m sorry for leaving
and then coming back
and then leaving again
and though I only saw you last week,
I haven’t seen you in clarity in a long time
it makes me lonely and when I feel lonely,
I speak to the sky
whispering secrets, you see,
it’s the only thing I can always speak to without lying
the truth is a fierce thing,
like wind can be,
it can be merciless
and I am just a hayseed
having a hard time surrendering to the wind
oh, the truth
it echoes, even in a field
or perhaps
just in my head
you can’t run away from the truth after you tell it to the sky
because the sky is everywhere,
always watching
always listening
always there
and that kind of makes me want to die