Lying right beside me,
I can hear your heart force and tick out of your chest.
Tell me what you want from me.
You're disconnected,
yet you're lying right beside me.
Your eyes,
godforsaken dead.
Your smile,
dissolved.
Your soul,
died.
Your personality,
replaced with an inhumane.
I want to wake you, but I know if I do, you wont be the same.
So I let you lie right beside me.
Everything about you looks the same,
feels the same.
But once you awaken, you're not here anymore,
and you should be.

I crush hard,
Let me admit that.
I try not to flounder on it,
Or procrastinate on it.
Nor do I want these feelings.
These feelings only lead me to destruction.
If my feelings do have a positivity on it,
I let them flourish.
I just go too deep in too soon.
Without having a caution sign.
I try to stay low.
Away from my feelings.

I don't care.
Everytime I try, something little destroys it all.
Gets me furious.
I hate getting close, then knowing I'm so far.
It annoys me.
That's why I don't try anymore.
There's no point.
There will always be a girl prettier, cooler than me.
That's when the competition comes in.
Leaves me in chills and anger.
This is why I have little emotions.
They've been ****** out of me.
Am I that useless?
A one time thing?
This is why I stay in my comfort zone.
I was so fine,
until I ****** up.
I don't even care anymore.
I'm just disappointed at myself.
Come back down and out of the clouds.
Foolish child,
Never listens.

I want to be a Disney Kid.
I want to swim the seven seas and fall magically in love,
Never grow up and fight the evil pirates.
I want to grant my wishes and soar on a magic flying carpet,
Marry a beast who lives wealthy and loves me for me.
I want to go into war for the sake of my ill father,
Dance at a ball and lose my glass slipper.
I want to wake up surrounded by miniatures dwarfs,
Be pricked by a spindle and kissed to be awakened.
I want to be a Native American, who falls in love with a man who sees me different,
Grow my hair till it touches the ground.
I want to kiss a frog and fall into a magical world,
Swing on vines while beating my chest, yelling the mighty call.
I want to grow my nose till I can’t tell a lie anymore,
Soar through the sky with my floppy big ears.
I want to fall into a hole to find another crazy dimension,
Be a black spotted dog with 101 puppies.
I want to land with my umbrella to interact with kids,
Eat spaghetti behind the garbage dumpsters with classical music.
I want to be best friends with a beagle,
Be a deer who meets all sorts of animals.
I want to be a pirate fighting on the Caribbean,
Eat honey all day till my tummy gets full.
I want to be the king and rule the jungle kingdom,
Be lost at sea and touch the ****.
I want to be a live toy and go on mischievous adventures,
Be a race car and drive the highways.
I want to be in New York and hang with the big dogs,
Fly in a house full of balloons.
I want to turn into a bear and see life differently,
Have a humpback and be treated so unfair.
I want to be Hercules and become powerful,
Become friends with a bear and boogie all down.
I want to scream to the world the sky is falling,
Become a cow on the range.
I want to be a pampered aristocat.
There are so many things I want to do and see in the eye of the magical fantasy.
I want to be a Disney kid.