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 May 2013
Krystine Hernandez
I'm a prisoner within my own mind.
What if's and Could have's swarm me
stinging  me with situations that will never come into existence.

They nest within my hippocampus.
Their lies seeping through,
filling my thoughts with everything that never happened.

They feast upon my memories,
replacing them with sacs of false dreams and over thought.
If only I could exterminate these little monsters.

For once I'd like to be free within my own body.
But as long as they stay within me I shall never be free of their hold.
 May 2013
Krystine Hernandez
Opinionated,
but filled with much grief and doubt.
What am I to do?
 May 2013
Krystine Hernandez
Emotional train wreck.
That term best describes the mess of emotional nerves that is me.
One minute I am calm, flowing through life as graceful as a leaf gliding on an autumn breeze.
But in a sudden blink of the eye I become a train wreck.

I am careening off the tracks of my life.
The impending crash brings on the pessimism of my disease.
Anger, depression, and grief all these emotions fill me as the train comes to the break in the tracks.

And suddenly without any hint of salvation the brakes are pulled into action.
Calm fills me once again and I am at peace; happiness showing on my face, I am relieved for a moment that the ride is finally over.
I have a moment’s time to compose myself before the ride begins once more.
There are never any malfunctions on this ride.
I will always be stuck on this never ending train ride.
 May 2013
Krystine Hernandez
Sippy cups to shot glasses
Skinned knees to broken hearts
Puppy love to marriage*

Why must the bliss be replaced with
Remorse and sorrow?
What ever happened to the time of cooties and boys being “icky”?

Soon baby dolls will be replaced with infants,
And sports cars will take the place of your hot wheels.

Sleepovers turn into obscene rumors.
Chubby cheeks turn into eating disorders.


I’m not ready to grow up yet.
I want to stay naive to reality,
Let me stay ignorant.

It’s inevitable that we have to grow up sooner or later
But why sooner than later?
 May 2013
Krystine Hernandez
It’s rare to find love in a place like this,
Devoid of true feeling, a heart lay near.
Tattered & scarred it is not hard to miss,
Under the wounds though hid a creature; fear.
Will someone ever find love within me?
Am I a lost cause? Not worthy enough?
Is it possible that no one can see,
Or have the nerve to even call my bluff?
I crave what is scarce in this hopeless place,
Someone that I alone can call my own,
One who will make this dead heart pound and race.
I know though my passion will stay unknown.
So here within this empty void I stay,
Praying that Charming will take me away.
 May 2013
Krystine Hernandez
I am a fighter.
I will not go quietly.
You will hear my voice.
 May 2013
Krystine Hernandez
Here for a moment,
Just borrowing fleeting time.
Blink and you are gone.
 May 2013
Krystine Hernandez
I spoiled my love for anyone who was foolish enough to attempt loving me after you.
No matter how hard they strived to fill the void you created there was no changing the sad fact that they’d never amount to you.

My heart aches
knowing that they will never stand a chance against you,
the demon who slowly inched into my subconscious.

Your phantom’s caress burns deep into my skin,
leaving my nerves numb to anyone else’s touch but yours.
Your voice entrances me with each syllable to wander,
farther and farther into the pits of my own personal hell.

No one can save me.
For I am far beyond anyone’s help now.
I became my own victim
when I made it impossible for anyone else to fill the hole you created within my heart.
 May 2013
Krystine Hernandez
You taste of cigarettes,
it disgusts me to no end.
But still I come back for more.
I can’t help but crave your poison.
I’ve grown addicted
and accustomed to your influences.

Your kisses send me into frenzies.
Each time
I am filled with
self hatred,
loathing,
and pity.

I hope that one day I will be able to escape
from your constricting hold.
But for now
I will stay content,
just within the reaches of the dangers
playing around with you brings.
 May 2013
Krystine Hernandez
I am that helpless fly struggling to break free from a spider's web.
The one that awaits inescapable predetermined death.

I am the moth who quietly hovers above a candle's open flame.
The one who could care less about if its wings caught fire or hadn't.

I am the girl.
The one who silently sat by as her heart shattered within her chest;
pain filling her.
Pain that bore a familiarity to the first time she gained hope that everything would turn out for the better.

I am the girl.
The girl who would carelessly make the mistake of letting you back into her conciseness.
The girl, who no matter what she progressed through, continues clinging to the fondest fleeting memories.
Ones that only, with imitational happiness, shroud the grief and agony she has been put through.

I am that foolish girl,
who even after all this time still welcomes you with
open arms and tear stained cheeks.

— The End —