I told him
‘You should wear blue more’
I thought he forgot
It’s not like he asked
But he showed me a post of him and his friends
He was wearing blue
And you wouldn’t believe the caption
‘Someone told me I should wear blue more’

I told him
‘You should let your hair grow out’
It was just a comment
It’s not like he asked
But he showed me a post of him with growth oil on his scalp
And you would not believe the caption
‘Someone told me I should let my hair grow out’

This time he asked
This time he texted
‘What does it mean if a girl says gn instead of Goodnight’
I said
‘It means she’s ******’
He didn’t get it that much
But still
Now
Instead of his usual gn
He texts Goodnight

You know
It hurts
Knowing we’re too young
But my soul is already too old
Though I know
If I were to die
With my words still tattooed on these hallowed walls
I’d like you to read my poems C
I’d like you to know
That
When I didn’t text back it wasn’t on purpose
When I say goodbye it’s not because I wanted to
Because you wore blue
And you grew out your hair
And you texted Goodnighttttt
With extra Ts of the end
I’ll miss you C
Though I shouldn’t
I never really had you to begin with

What if I want to fall in love?
What if I wanna feel like lovers do?
What if I want movie nights in the dark?
A hand softly stroking my hair?

What if I want a love story?
What if I want someone to call me randomly?
What if I know exactly who I want it to be?
But what if he doesn’t really like me?

I texted him the other day
Complaining about dad again
While he told me about the latest season of the flash
He stopped when I told him what my dad said
When he told me my makeup was
‘Asking for it’
But maybe it was
I got catcalled that day
It was weird
I never thought I was pretty enough for that
But then he stopped
He got angry
Asked me
‘Who would dare?’
And my heart warmed
I told him my thoughts
‘I never thought it would happen to me. ME’
And he got even angrier
He told me
‘You’re beautiful, why would you be confused’
We went back to safe conversation
He talked about the flash
While I romanticized the characters
It was SAFE
We’re too young for this
But maybe
His will be the hand stroking my hair
When we’re older
Yeah
Then