Sometimes, I wonder
Am I those pretty girls who you want to smack cos you’re  so **** hot? Like bro Why can’t you see it
Or am I pretty bcos of my personality
Or am I just personality
Or maybe not even that
Self depreciation, love
It’s called self deprecation,genius

I planned this speech for a book in the bathroom

I like it

I think best in the bathroom

Tmi, I know

If my family must tell my story they will say I was a monster

They will tell tall tales of white white anger

Of how I never listened and pretended I was the master

They will say she was extravagant but hell if you could get her to say so

She lies through her teeth and pretended she was a Saint you know ?

If my family must tell my story they will proclaim what they say is the truth

They'll try their hardest to stain my already ruined reputation and say we're just looking out for you

If I was humble I would never have known for their tales of pride have convinced me

If I was sweet I would never know because they claim if I am it's an anomaly

All this I tell you
Making me look like a desperado
But your family are the ones who know you best too
I really don't have a defense
For if I were here to tell you the lies

I would have said

I am a Saint and my family thinks so too

I am a Saint
I am happy
And my family
My family

If my family were to tell my story they would tell my friends first
The friends I lied to the ones who said how could you be the worst
You're an angel and I'd say Hush
You're making me blush

I wasn't even flattered
I am a monster and my family knows it too

If my family were to tell my story
Listen
They are the ones who know what's true.

I am a creature strange
I seek help but get confused when they help me
I seek approval but get confused when they approve me
These eyes
They see, but they are dry
This heart
It beats, but silence echoes in its chambers
I pity the one who tries
Have I seduced you with my false pleas?
Shame has sworn himself to me
It begs to show itself one last time
All the time