And I wished I hadn't taught her to close off
Because now when I most needed to know what she felt
Her face was an empty canvas her eyes hollow
A hardened soldier
Do you understand me I ask
She nods
That's all
Not a flicker of emotion crossed her face
My heart never sank so fast

My words repeat themselves
They shudder on my tongue
I hold them in my mouth and open to let them out
But all they do is hide like shy children behind their mothers
They settle at the bottom of my throat and set up camp
They build fires and burn my lungs
I feel like a broken car
Sputtering and huffing
And for the first time in a long while
I feel like the teenager I am
And I remember why I left that girl behind