I remember the day we started filming
the days it was just you and me
filming every second of our life together
only our world to enjoy

But then you betrayed me
you left me
for someone else
you now film your time with her  

Now I watch the moments we filmed
the film that was once ours
the moments that were once my everything

Now I cry to what was once our love film

I feel guilty
I feel like I'm desperate
I cant help it

I am a lover girl
I cant change anything about it
but I can do something about it

I'm going to hide that part of me
and pretend it doesn't exist
and pretend to not feel

it's not something I want but I think it's the best
I feel like I'm desperate for love
every time someone shows me affection

That's why I'm going to stop feeling love or at least try
and hopefully I won't just fall for anyone
who gives me attention or affection

You're the reason I pick my pen up
the reason I write

I write this because I'm scared
scared of being rejected
afraid you wont like me

I can't tell you how I've developed
developed to love you
to like you

If I tell you
will you love me back?

I love you
and I want it to show

I'm a romantic
I cant help myself

I write you love letters
Every time I think of you
I think about you and my errors

about a hundred letters for you
all handwritten
but you probably don't feel the same way

I want to tell you I still like you
but I'm scared of this again
I don't want you to think I'm desperate for you

so all I can do is watch from far
and hide my feelings for you

but I want to tell you
without backing out this time

I'm in love with you
I cant help but feel this way again

You're the one I don't wanna lose
nothing gets me scared
its something I often choose

I love you with everything
I don't wanna see you leave
I'm scared of everything

I just wanna be with you
I just wanna stay with you
I just wanna live and die with you

"what's wrong with you?"
Was all you said

"We were best friends"
Was what you said when you found out

"You always do this"
Was what you said when you heard

"Your nobody to me anymore"
Was what you said when he told you

All this happened because we liked the same boy

I turned him down because of you,
But you didn't want to believe

Our friendship ruined because,
We liked the same boy

Remember what happened last year?
Maybe not Let me remind you

It started during Spring semester
I had crush on you
Badly

I remember my friends encouraging me,
I wrote you a letter confessing my feelings
Giving you my number and name only

You read it and left it on the table,
Wrong choice

Your friends shared that information with everyone they knew

Messages and messages of unknown numbers
Asking who I was

I found your number and you said,
"I want to get to know you,Zoe"

It was too late
Because I thought you were a ****
Someone who was making fun of me,
My feelings.

Now we go to the same school,
But I bring myself to wonder
What would happen if i responded with a yes.

Okay I'm stupid for thinking that,
But every time I see you now
I want you.

I always liked you,
and threw hints at you

I showed you my love,
Expressed it

I wrote you poems,
And poems of love

I gifted you things
Things of love

But you had a problem
You were oblivious

I admire from afar
Yet you never notice me
I pray someday you do

I want to confess my feelings
But you might not care
I hope someday I can

You are my crush
But instead of confessing to you
I crush my feelings

So everything I see you
I can't bring my self to confess to you

I was always there for you,
When you needed me the most
I never left you.

But then you met her,
You stopped talking to me
Even ignored me.

The day I needed you the most,
You weren't there and instead
You were with her.

It made me feel different,
Like someone who never existed
I felt worthless.

Stupid even to think you'll be there for me,
But you were with her instead.

When I first met you I fell in love
I didn't know who you were,
neither did I care

We spent a lot of time together
and feel harder for you,
Every time our eyes locked

At first it was cliche to think we would last,
I was stupid I know
but you can't blame me for being delusional.

When you look at someone
I want to be looked at

When you smile
I want the smile

When you laugh
I want the laugh

When you walk away
I want to chase

When you love someone
I want it to be me

Its selfish to think, to even want you
because at the end
it's her and not me.