Does it break you
To imagine me
Crying all night
To make the pain stop?

I cried myself to sleep
And woke up depressed
Like a block on concrete
Upon my chest

I questioned God
And begged him to make it stop
I rotted away in my bed
I felt like I was dead

For months, I felt empty
And I couldnt eat
My whole body was numb
And my heart didn't beat

No one saved me
No one helped me
And it left a void in my chest
I keep trying to feel

Im detached from reality
And nothing is real
Theres gaps in my memory
Some parts are blank

I'm mentally ill
And have you to thank
You broke my heart
And broke my soul

You made me feel worthless
And I sacrificed myself
I ditched my own God
To worship you

I was unconscious
You destroyed me
And everyone thought
It was funny.

My moods are unstable
It took years to gain control
Like navigating an ocean
When your ship is full of holes

It all went to my head
It would painfully ring
When words couldn't be said,
The migraines would sing

I need you so bad
That I wanted to die
You make me so wet
And without you I'm dry

Without you I'm nothing
I'm simply your slave
I'm addicted to you
You're all that I crave

I let you abuse me
Until I lose my mind
And the monster within me
Developed within time.

I wanted to ****** you
With all of my heart
The light within me
Shadowed by the dark

I fantasized about it
Your blood on my hands
Your body an object
That I control

The light and the dark
Is what makes me whole
You ruined my life
You tortured my core

And now I don't know
Who I am anymore.
By going within,
By exploring the deep,

I know who I am.
Inside me it sleeps.
The person I am
Is you.

A human
so lost
wondering
through a forest
finds
a bright
little fairy,
so beautiful and small.

She makes a wish
that she
will be beautiful
free
powerful
and radiant
and find her way
back to her kingdom
but nothing happens.

Instead,
she sits there,
on the trunk she saw the fairy,
before it disappeared.

She closes her eyes,
and cries a bit
engrossed by
the peaceful darkness
she sees spirals of colors
she sees a prince
that is pink and blue
she hears a voice
"you are beautiful"
"you are radiant"
she is filled with light

I am powerful.
I am free.

She feels tall
like a castle
filled with echoes and rooms,
cobwebs and bats,
she feels loud.

She feels strong, and heavy,
like strong bricks
ancient, made from long ago
she feels like
she has existed forever.

Her presence expands
she is everything
she is giant
she is huge
but that little voice
in her head
the one that guided her
it is meek,
it is small,
it is bold,
it is a fairy.