You know what?
I will fight
Because it's difficult
Because the lows are so ******* low
Because the night air chills my damp shirtsleeves
Because sometimes the walls are impenetrable
Because I do it the hard way
But really because
He always says it back

You're happy maggie
You taught me a lot 

The forest was our adventure
The daytime was our adventure
I filled your bowls
We fell asleep on each other
We're both afraid of thunderclaps
And you could make me smile
No one can do that

I held you when you were sick today
You looked so sad
And it completely
shattered my heart
And I fell on the pieces of it
I couldn't believe it

I will be with you when you go
It'll be hard but,
Deep breath
Deep
Breath.
Thank You

you whisper against my skin and I look down at the cave that’s in my chest, gaping and dark and bottomless, shouts echoing off the walls. you never let me rest, tapping and tapping at the insides of my skull. an isolated night heaves up in front of me, motionless and quiet and all the while, tapping and tapping. I can’t eat for the sound, can’t sleep, but I listen and stare as shapes and seconds shift by and fog rolls into my eyes. tides rise and break in my stomach, swells crashing over my eyelids, threatening to escape my mouth.

Mysterious strangers everywhere
No
Cool kids I don't know to care about
No
People I don't care about
Period

Red solo cup fuckery
A blasted home ;
Can't move without bumping shoulders
Looks like a neon lion den
Pop-dance factory ambience
Reeks of B.O. and beer
I'm embarrassed to be here

Everyone here bought the
I-can-be-anyone lie of the century
I'm embarrassed to be here

We're alone.
Really and truly.
Hey Lindsay, does this stuff make you woozy?
Don't trust anyone,
Trust me.
Look out for number one.

Pretending helps.
But you gotta be good at it.
I can fake with the best of anyone.
Hey Lindsay the ceiling is crying, look at it.

Remember,
No one can break your heart
If you bury it in the backyard.
And if they start digging,
Drop out.
Hey Lindsay, I think I might blackout.

You might get cold.
Sometimes I think I froze.
I can't feel anything these days.
Hey Lindsay, so it goes.

The screaming in my head
It's getting louder
What is happening to me
I just wish I could sleep
Just to be free
But I keep running
I've got to find you again
For that feeling you catalyze in me
Like wet flowers
Like hot blood
Breathe.

i lost my courage
and you lost your memory
both can be symptoms of drugs or alcohol.

alcohol stole your memory after a night full of open doors
drugs gave me courage then stole it and replaced it with a heart wrenching feeling of distress.

we're victums of the want to feel better,
the desperate longing to escape our troubled minds.

you forgot
and i still have the memory.

yet i'm afraid you'll remember everything
and decide that
i'm not what you need or want
i'm not enough,
i'm too much
i'm too this, too that.

to stay in this in between of emotions
or to reveal the idea of a different outcome

you know i'm indecisive.

We join spokes together in a wheel,
but it is the center hole
that makes the wagon move.

We shape clay into a ***,
but it is the emptiness inside
that holds whatever we want.

We hammer wood for a house,
but it is the inner space
that makes it livable.

We work with being,
but non-being is what we use.

__

"Lao Tzu is believed to have been a Chinese philosopher (a person who seeks to answer questions about humans and their place in the universe) and the accepted author of the  Tao te ching,  the main text of Taoist thought. He is considered the father of Chinese Taoism (a philosophy that advocates living a simple life).

Read more: Lao Tzu Biography - life, name, death, school, book, old, information, born, time http://www.notablebiographies.com/Ki-Lo/Lao-Tzu.html

and for a moment
and for more than
moments
it all and everything
stopped
cold
dead in the tracks
of a memory
fleeting
whirling in the sounds
the echoes
and the sounds
of a warped
scream
or a song
or a laughing laugher
against the buffet
of the mind's wind
and the colour-rush
and the grainy
screen of inner views
gone
going, going
gone
forever
(in the blink of a mind's
eye)
going
gone
time escaped
and replaced
again
away it goes
and memory
bleeds
dry and sere
never returning burning
bridges
disappear and reappear
until the ashes
turn back into
coal.

birds on barbed wire,
watching over me,
lodged in a private
penitentiary.

birds on barbed wire,
not a chirp or peep they make,
they just perch between the barbs,
watch, waiting, wait, watching me
shiver in silence, violence shake.

birds on barbed wire,
will neither spread wings,
or take flight,
these wire-bound birds
will not
leave me out of their sight;

-nor will any such
birds on barbed wire
call out or make cry,
these birds on the wire
are here to wait and watch me
just die.
___

birds, barbed wire:
http://beautyineverything.com/5082513864

the hardest part about
writing a poem about you
is that the words tend to
get into the way
of what i really want to
say to
you