It wrapped itself around me when the lights went out
And took my form, all my shapes
The way you did

It protected me from any monsters below
And made everything safe and sound
The way you did

It kept me warm when the cold air got me
It listened to my screams of angst
It caught me when I fell down
And never failed to abide this calling

Just the way you did

When you were away
I lay my tired body on half the bed
Going through this whole cycle
Wondering if you too were being
Warmed,
Guarded,
Comforted.

This down feather blanket isn't you
It is a new friend
My friend
No one else's

The way you said
You were no one else's

Fluid and serene with your partner
You captivated me from the start

I watched as you lifted her, flipped her around
And bent in opposition, with such grace

Though I didn't catch your name
I caught your beauty
And held on to it tightly

The last time I saw you
You were on a stage
Again tugging at my mouth's corners

Because you danced so naturally
So beautifully

And now you're back home in another state
And you won't remember me the way I'll remember you

And that polar bear was my friend

Never understanding the migration patterns,

Of which there are none; stand still and live.

Polar bears are meant to adapt to the cold,

The biting air and piercing words of others.

When life pukes on your ice, eat it,

That is what polar bears do... right?

I can be that warm coat to protect you, day,

And night, claws that rip and tear.

I would love to be there for you,

And that polar bear was my friend.

And they loved me,
I held their hands while they cried,
brought the tissues to every period,
beat my brain for resolutions to shoddy problems,
listening day by day to a broken record,
And they loved me for it.

I hurt more and more, silent
Family not knowing what to think,
grounded for the first time in 5 years,
alone because of the love I give
and they never noticed.

I did what I do, played me
divorce, heartbreak, panic attacks,
there I was, with a kind word
And I became broken.

the sadness that was theirs was mine,
I take that burden, it grows
never stops growing, day
after day, after day, after day
and they kept being sad,
And I was always alone.

Silence, don't say a word,
I will make it worse for them
never worry about myself,
just because I have attacks,
Cut, my family was fine
And never will be the same again.

Until I changed, they never noticed
the only ones to notice were my parents
and they loved me... My friends, they did love me until I opened my mouth,
They loved me.

Bobby-pin, the anchor to the thin cloth of a once bleak school career
Pulled out like the pin of a grenade
Suddenly gone, where do I go? Do I run?
Take cover? to whom do I turn?
These constant goodbyes are the never ending logarithm, unsolvable without my bobby-pin.

We sat and talked
Wondering when this dream would end
Going seperate ways
It never occurred to us.
In a matter of time we would be alone.
Like a mustache without a lone gunman,
Completely and utterly alone.