so he asks the master
why me. why now.
i dont feel like putting up a fight

you throw roses at me
i bleed from the thorns as i pick them
you seem to delight in my plight

who am i said the master
to cause anything
the roses are yours
and the thorns too
from your seeds within

the rose will give you
a glimpse of the divine
the thorn will remind
you to stop saying "it's mine..."

branches, flowers and fruits
they dont weigh me down
the soil has been my mother
my roots are soaked in brown

summer burnt me over
winter stripped me down
monsoon was my lover
almost always out of town

time it passed so quickly
from the day i was once sown
yes i did wonder sometimes
reasons for which i was born

years turned and twisted me
but i still wear my crown
i am bent but not fallen
is that why you axe me now

some days are empty
some days so full
i have become a sieve
filtering residual love

i get filled up with beauty
but the joy passes so soon
am left with memories clinging
on the perforations of my soul

wish i was impervious
or how i wish i was open
holding back or letting go
is such a heavy burden

and then one day you find
a soul you want to bind
someone who makes you feel
you birth was not unkind

the garden of bougainvillea
is made of pretty flowers
but her branches and thorns
keep out the lovers

all you can do is
just be mesmerized
seeing the bloom
waiting to be euthanized

will talk to you tomorrow
she says
the next day begins
with no moment to laze

my pings of "hi"s
have become pangs with sighs
and shes been too busy
to take notice of my craze

one more day. one more night
i keep counting untaken breaths
awaiting her voice and sharp gaze

Can't wipe this smile off my face
the joke was on me, i know
but this was not a time or the place
to cause a row

all the storm, i seemed to cause
by my complete devotion
now this pregnant pause
followed by your cold emotion

"...i cant make that choice" she answered
to a question i never asked
"Now that i have already devoured your heart, its time to snap off your head and finish the task"

she stands across her mirror
puckers her lips, puts the color
looks into her eyes
checks her own demeanour
its almost wry

finally she put to sleep
her demons of past weeks
and the spell
has finally turned weak
its almost dry

another day. another night.
she breathes easy now
another body. another soul.
she smiles to herself
it was all a lie

i see you
opening your eyes
out of your sleep
a familiar touch

there's no trace
of me in your thougts
waking up without me
is this the end?

the warmth in your bed
is of your body alone
no fragrance
of our love

as the morning sun
comes up on you
i m dissapearing as quick
as a ghost

sober. i am feeling sober.
the fuzzy heavy head's gone
the distance. i think it helps.
but the ache. its still there.

lighter. i feel lighter.
all that gravity, the weight
pushing me towards you.
i guess its all i want.

conversation. what conversation?
i dont recall a ******* thing
that breeze through the car window
the moving lights. deep piercing eyes.

we had a moment, you say
eternity did you mean?
we had something going you felt
was i even breathing then?

now that i am coming to
i think i have been had
your sinister evenings with me
were the best i ever had

why do you leave your preys half eaten
is that a cosmic tease?
i am trying to still figure
if i m alive or deceased

waking up
thinking of you
wondering
how you look in your sleep

maybe you are curled up
in a warm quilt
or in a warm embrace
of my guilt

i can trace the outline
of your lips
your glowing face
and your arched hips

oh how cruel your slumber
how deaf your ears
did you not hear
my loving sweet nothings

i just cant sleep
i cannot breathe
i am awake here on the other side
the dawn incomplete

that thick quilt does not work
it does not feel right
it does not give me
my lover's caresses or her bite

that thick quilt does not cover
or touch all those places
that belong to my lover
they are empty spaces

that thick quilt does not shield me
from my love's piercing stare
at my naked being
although there is nothing bare

take this hand
take it with you
take this soul
take it with you

i am mixed in your colors
i am mixed in your shades
of mixed emotions
running in your head

i can still feel the texture
of your feelings
its ok to breathe baby
its ok to feel alive

i cant say i dont miss you
i can still feel your warmth
cuddling into my arms
And looking up into eternity

so i tell myself, i can survive this
and this heartache is nothing
but an affliction of love

its just a few hours
no communication
i had taken you for granted
thought it was my ration

time it stops still
i struggle to just go through
a time i cant ****
waiting to hear a whisper from you