A drink to commitments
A drink to routine
A drink to supposed to
A drink to should
A drink to order
A drink to loops and loops and
A drink to losing
A drink to forgetting
Another to forgetting
Another to remember
A drink to sadness
A drink to the Little
A drink for sorry
A drink for appearances
A drink not to care
A drink to see god
Another to see better
A third to enter heaven!
A fourth to submit
A fifth to disappear
Another just for luck
And the rest are for us

Most people can
Live to 75
80 if you really
Want to and
Have the means
I never thought
I would make it
As far;
I have played my
Knees Monk
My lungs Gillespie
My **** Morrison
And my heart Davis
Kind of Blue on repeat

There is no color
Of death
Like eyes know,
Only death of mind
And sick plastic aura,
Death makes known
In soul depth of being
And days when
Sighting humanity
Hurts the eyes

My frustration told me
That madness would
Answer my prayer but
I tried going mad,
Screaming Holy! in
Acred forests
Grabbing at atmospheric
Redemption and sunlight forgiveness
I tried going mad
Waving lone **** heartache
In crowds of closed-box
Timid hurt,
"I'm sorry I'm sorry!"
I tried going mad
Dancing barstool homeless
Through heavenly hallways
Laughing insanity,
"Take my eyes!"
I tried going mad
Cursing schoolhouse process-plant
Ideology and worship
"Where is the FDA when
You need them?"
I tried going mad
        In streets of gold
With hungry hungry
Empty sick blindness
Taunting me, "Get a job!"
I tried going mad
With Poe and Shelley and
Thomas and Wilde
All howling humanity
All singing Patriam
I tried going mad
        In type,
Even seeing briefly
Line/break suicide
On liquid crystal display  
Oh! I tried going mad
But my soul dragged me
To earthcore wisdom and
Vibrated my atomic scaffolding
Immaculate

"Beuur ahhh craaa seee"
"Beuur ahhh craaa seee"
I said it over and over
until other words
shared its ambiguity

"Aaam biiih guuu iih tee."

I studied profound
Toilet stalls full of wisdom
And cried for human

I destroyed that
which I sought
to understand