Death hot and cold bites at my lips
The tremble in my leg as I stare at the floor
I cannot remember when my core was eradicated
But I can remember how it made me feel
More so I remember how it made others feel
and in their eyes that's all there is to it.
As if it were selfish that I slipped and fell
And now I have a broken foot that I cannot recover from
I could attempt to say something bold
Like that I love you.
Or that my plan will work out in the end.
But I cannot make up my mind.
All they gift is their apology.
They didn't do anything wrong.
Why are they sorry?
They shouldn't be sorry.
I ***** profuse
on my bed sheets
alone at night in my mind
I fall asleep comfortably bleeding
I ***** when I wake up
and a fog horn goes off
Someone wet the bed.
It was me
I drool upon my car horn
Someone cut me off, me
Someone, cut me off, me
Someone cut me, off me
I climb a tree in the forest
density holds me safe
The branch is broken
and the wind starts to shift
I made a crutch from the lumber
As I seeped through the air
And I lept from my tired eyes
on to layers of pine needles
Beams of light seperate my brain from my mind
I cannot turn off the light because of what's inside
Bees fly in to pollinate me, they sting me simultaneous
How was I supposed to recognize a wasp
Yellow and black look the same to me
Both acidic and both crucify me
crunch down the subdued pain
of running that hasn't ever stopped
I could take a breath
and realize how far I have fallen behind
Or I could keep stabbing myself
Until something comes of it.
Will something come of it?
I ask this God, then the next
I respect a good intention
but I cannot agree or comply
Im addicted to telling you things I shouldnt
Despite making me feel incomprehensibly insane
I am tied to a tree and unable to fly
So I am a sick dog who barks at all strangers
Strange that I act alone
When I have so much on my half
But my half is only a fraction of theirs
and theirs but a sliver of the earth.
Darkness owns the other half
the physical entity of space
You cannot light up one side
without darkening the other
So when a comet burns down to earth
I cannot help but notice what it's left
A consummation of being the brightest of dark things
but the darkest of light
I cannot speak like I used to
I cannot cheat myself of a new thought
Because as much as I've felt like this before
I've never felt quite so harrowed and shrouded
I am clean, wrist deep in mahogany
But yet I am lost and mopped up by a pigeon
I picked out my own innards and laughed
My lungs are not yellow and my heart is not black
My lungs were pink and my heart was raw
But now that it's out I cannot replace
nor can I face anyone to operate
I'm drunk and stumbling to the morgue