Push is counter balancing pull
tearing down the strings
leaving the walls bare
bare and stripped
she lays by my side
eyes wide like the sun
on some summertime day
the wind blows sweet
the heat radiates from the street
my fingertips brush skin
the oil leaves a film
yes, there it is
in a note that is the rhythm of breathing
soft slow standing alone
like that sweet wind
or that hot street
bright sun
just give

I thought I was falling
turns out I was just running
I could not feel my legs
nor my feet
carrying me to a place
beyond the road
into the abyss
where I found solitude
where I found myself
in the mirror of a watery reflection
and there were no more questions
only facts
and as they bore holes in my face
ripped open my skin
allowed me to view my bones
i saw for the first time
something in myself that i understood
and from there
at the bottom
off the road
in a ditch
i rebuilt myself
out of the bones unburdened by skin
climbing out on the ladder made of femur and ribs
i let the sun  bleach my skeleton
and the moon gave me new skin

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There are two meanings of ****
one is to **** as a verb
the act of *******
the art of *******
a snapshot from our days as animals
bent over in a cave
covered in blood and excrement
*******

the other meaning **** is more ambiguous
**** this
**** that
this has nothing to do with fornication
but adds the emphasis desired
in order to prove a point
a provincial exclamation
a desecration of progress
of morality
of society
**** that

It is strange to see her heart break
knowing that I am the cause
knowing that is not the first time
but it will be the last time
and feeling almost nothing
do I have a soul
or has it been trampled and transformed
into something indistinguishable
her blue green eyes well
her face crinkles into that form
trying to hold back the tears
that cannot be stopped
it is strange to be this man again
this one I have not know for some time
bordering on freedom and feeling pain
but not for her, and that is the worst of it
for myself, from fear and anxiety
do I remember how to be that man
will I be better than before
or just as bad as I was
I know I will never be lonely
I hope that she will not be lonely long
It is strange to hope for her happiness
even thought I am now the source
of all of her pain
we are broken
and cannot
be fixed

Today comes
with the sun
pulling over the darkness
of a midnight sky
I know in that moment
that we will be
no more
and
never again
because even though
there is love
that is not enough
and there is trust
that is not enough
because there needs to be
that extra spark
that thing
that brings
life

I can do this for hours
just let words pour out of me
good ones
bad ones
indifferent ones
I am like god
creating without any care
just for the sake of pictures
on this blank page
like how the sun rose this morning
filling the canvas with hope
the sun will fall
and **** all the color out
and all the while
through days and nights
I will just keep pouring
the words
and the whiskey

Crowds are made of people
willing to be in the crowd
willing to fly with the flock
I have never been willing
never been able
and I am happy about that
because when I look outside
and see the crowd
they seem like empty reflections
of what every one else is
or wants
the girls with their fake smiles
the guys with their fake confidence
i know you
you are still human beings
and when your fake fades
maybe years from now
you will read something like this
and wonder
who the ****
does that guy
think he is

I met a man once, drunk in bar, missing some of his teeth and stinking of death
he was a Vietnam vet, he talked a crazy kind of talk that made you realize why he was alone
his hands were hard as rocks when he shook mine, his eyes looked like burned out light bulbs
what he said to me, I cannot remember, but I remember what I learned from him
what is in your soul, manifest itself, unto your body
even though you may think it is hidden
it is there plain as day
in your burnt out light bulb eye

I met you in a crowd
our eyes punctured each other
before I ever even knew your name
I loved you
perhaps just for an instant
nurons buzzing in my head
and the night blowing up like a bomb
and you standing there
looking like a greek statue
carved from marble
and lust
your lips turned out like beautiful petals
red like roses
i loved her once

God gave us water but that was insufficient
man is made up of water already, our bones are tired of it
God gave us the sky but that was insufficient
man walks through the sky, and dreams of the moon

Man gave us whiskey for all those sleepless nights
because god rather us look at the stars then dream of the moon
Man gave us coffee to get us going after not enough sleep
because god knows if we are ever going to get to the moon
were going to have to work out ***** off to get there.

I have had woman
probably ruined a few of them
stolen their innocence
let them **** me
**** me
love me
and then i left them
swollen
and alone
while I go off to another one
or some bottle
shaped like a woman
skinny at the top
fat in the middle
and good to the last drop
either way
i leave them
empty
cold
and alone
naked on my floor
never knowing
that my love
is reserved for what they have inside
the things they never see