Push is counter balancing pull
tearing down the strings
leaving the walls bare
bare and stripped
she lays by my side
eyes wide like the sun
on some summertime day
the wind blows sweet
the heat radiates from the street
my fingertips brush skin
the oil leaves a film
yes, there it is
in a note that is the rhythm of breathing
soft slow standing alone
like that sweet wind
or that hot street
bright sun
just give

I thought I was falling
turns out I was just running
I could not feel my legs
nor my feet
carrying me to a place
beyond the road
into the abyss
where I found solitude
where I found myself
in the mirror of a watery reflection
and there were no more questions
only facts
and as they bore holes in my face
ripped open my skin
allowed me to view my bones
i saw for the first time
something in myself that i understood
and from there
at the bottom
off the road
in a ditch
i rebuilt myself
out of the bones unburdened by skin
climbing out on the ladder made of femur and ribs
i let the sun  bleach my skeleton
and the moon gave me new skin

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There are two meanings of ****
one is to **** as a verb
the act of *******
the art of *******
a snapshot from our days as animals
bent over in a cave
covered in blood and excrement
*******

the other meaning **** is more ambiguous
**** this
**** that
this has nothing to do with fornication
but adds the emphasis desired
in order to prove a point
a provincial exclamation
a desecration of progress
of morality
of society
**** that

It is strange to see her heart break
knowing that I am the cause
knowing that is not the first time
but it will be the last time
and feeling almost nothing
do I have a soul
or has it been trampled and transformed
into something indistinguishable
her blue green eyes well
her face crinkles into that form
trying to hold back the tears
that cannot be stopped
it is strange to be this man again
this one I have not know for some time
bordering on freedom and feeling pain
but not for her, and that is the worst of it
for myself, from fear and anxiety
do I remember how to be that man
will I be better than before
or just as bad as I was
I know I will never be lonely
I hope that she will not be lonely long
It is strange to hope for her happiness
even thought I am now the source
of all of her pain
we are broken
and cannot
be fixed

Today comes
with the sun
pulling over the darkness
of a midnight sky
I know in that moment
that we will be
no more
and
never again
because even though
there is love
that is not enough
and there is trust
that is not enough
because there needs to be
that extra spark
that thing
that brings
life