Maybe it's true
that things will never
be the same.

I get sad
thinking about
everything
and how I can't
experience it
ever again.

But I've been thinking
that maybe
I should be happy
that I lived through that
at all.

I am grateful
for the memories
we created
and I wish
that there could be
more to come

but I understand
why I will never
be accepted again,

and now I'm okay with that.

Fluffs of conversation
float through the car,
as you slowly
inch your way
towards
my face.
                               Turning away,
                               I realize that's all this was.
                               Merely an attempt
                               of desperation.
      
     Yet again, my apologetic smile
     Denies this boy annually
     just as I did two years prior.

                                                                        I'm sorry.