Sluggishly you frump to school
passing by people
whose faces you'll soon forget.
      They don't matter,
don't waste your time.
            tick tock.

You go to practice
your meeting
rehearsal.
      Whatever it is
you group yourself in
to feel like you belong.
      And for what else?
To look good on a college application
maybe; the motions of it
are the only thing
that matters.
Paying attention, making memories
is not traditional thought process.
How will that look on a transcript?
            tick tock.

You mindlessly drive home
not paying attention
to the miniscule details
of the nature around you.
      It doesn't directly effect you
so you see no point in admiring it.
what's the need?
            tick tock.

You lock yourself in your room
and open the books
that surrounded you
for seven hours already today
and work for two or three more
hours of your precious evening.
      You do it because
that's what is expected of you.
      Monotonous efforts that someday
you will be unable to recall.
            tick tock.

                          When was the last time you have done something
                                  that you will be able to vividly remember
                                                      years from now?

You are
wasting
your
time.
                                                          ­                                                                 ­                                 Go. *Live.

Constant dependency
of everyone, slowly weighs
down on your shoulders.
Do you feel it?

Your once confident,
deep breaths,
become
short
and choppy.
Do you feel it?

Consistent questions
always the same.
Yet the answers are
always changing.
It's hard to know
what to do.
how to respond.
how to react.
Do you feel it?

You are inching
your way to
your breaking point.
You will explode.
You will collapse.
And everything will fall apart.
It is inevitable.
Do you feel it?
                                                                            

  
                                                                                                                                                                                  *I  do.

A new year
brings nothing but
a new calendar
perhaps.
A fresh snowfall.

A new year
cannot erase all
of your problems
from the year before.
                                                                                    your problems dont leave.
                                                                                    they have no set expiration date.

I can't get you off of my mind.
You tread in
uncharted waters.
Ripples begin to flicker
across the surface.
The tide comes in
just a little bit higher
than before.

Who allowed you to
cause a disturbance,
in my pathetic
barren heart?
You were not invited,
nor expected.

You're no good for me.
I wouldn't be of any
assistance to you
either.

I can't help but
be intrigued.
Your very being
compels me to
become interested.

curiosity is all this is.
You're not supposed
to effect me like this.
But I can't help it.
We can't let anyone know
that I care.
It's between you, and me.

publicly, you're just like every
other guy.
Every other guy that never got through.

Your conversations consist
of bragging, and
trying to out do your friends.
You want to win.

That's what Christmas
has become.
A season of
who gets the most.

While I sit here in my shoe-box residence.
No Christmas tree.
No presents.
Nothing.

Not by choice,
but by lack of resources.

And you know what?
I'm happy.
This year, I learned
that getting presents
isn't everything.

Giving
Watching
Smiling
Compassion
are the things that keep
Christmas spirit alive.

So while you unwrap your ****,
wondering what you get-
I will silently sit,
smiling through all of it.