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Sep 2019 · 153
Untitled
Cody Shull Sep 2019
Stringing along a line of pretty souls
Trying to keep me company throughout the days & nights
Going nowhere, but towards destined dead ends
Enjoying the short-lived rides while they last

You can either blame, tame, or betray me
I deserve all you think I should receive
For I'm in shackles already with nowhere to go
Heading south faster & faster without resistance

Maybe I enjoy being lost
Without swimming too deep
Staying afloat, yet still drowning
Maybe I prefer keeping myself in the dark
For I have found home amongst the shadows
My darkly sweetened safe haven

Cody Shull, 2019
Jul 2019 · 205
Ending or Continuation
Cody Shull Jul 2019
Sometimes I think you're there
However, you're anywhere but here
I hope you're somewhere
Hoping you're existing in one way or another
For it is all ultimately unknown
Lacking answers to impossible questions
Searching for the hidden truth
Left to wonder why
Dealt a treacherous hand
Endless grief and sorrow reigns
A pain that I haven't gotten used to
Nor will I until I reach my final day
Homesick for a home that includes you
Stricken to the heart with sadness
I have shed many a tear over you
Wishing I could turn my head to see you there
As you were before you faded away
Such a shame the way it had to go
I would've cured you to stay, if I had that chance
But, it went downhill fast
You weren't able to last
Since after you had passed...
All I wonder if it's an ending
Or just a continuation

Cody Shull, 2019
Jul 2019 · 150
A Curse Sublime
Cody Shull Jul 2019
Finally ignored after all this time
Loved the attention
But not just from me, in the end
Guess I'm out of her league
She's twice my age
But, it doesn't stop me

Deep infatuation from head to toe
The memory of her beauty burned into my mind
Cannot stop her pretty face popping up inside
Cursed to know her name
Cursed to admire her allure
A pleasant curse
A curse sublime

If we never meet again...
It would be a shame
Wished it were different
Hoping for a mere chance
Always fooling myself

Lost within fantasy
For fantasy is my safe haven
Away from uncertainties
A lonely catharsis

Relying by the splendor of her photographic galore
Never will I be short of elegance
She freely flaunts her immaculate aura
I am but one of many who cherishes her gorgeousness

Forbidden fruit tastes sweeter...

Cody Shull, 2019
Jun 2019 · 162
Parlor of Dreams
Cody Shull Jun 2019
He's sitting alone, waiting
Over there in the corner
Inside the parlor of dreams
Lifetimes of waiting
He has all the patience he needs

Time no longer exists for him
Just the anticipation of arrival
Hoping certain faces appear
Certain names granted to pass through

Between two worlds
Cursed to exist, set apart between two realms
Between two dimensions
Trying to keep the faith that we'll meet again

Time is a burden
A treacherous cross to bear
Uncertainty accompanies each and every second
Always never knowing...
Life is ultimately unfair

Sometimes it's easy to think...
It's pure cruelty to even be born
Would've been nice for some things to be pretend
But, life is just a mere test in the very end....

Cody Shull, 2019
May 2019 · 236
Chains of Matrimony
Cody Shull May 2019
You’re locked away
Put aside for someone’s pleasure
You’re in chains
Chains of matrimony

There will be love
There will be quarrel
It’s all that you can expect
It makes me feel terrible
It could’ve been us
Between us two
But, there is nothing left

Stuck in constant fantasy
Do you ever think of me?
I fantasize that you do
And I hope that it’s true

There’s nothing more we can do
I swear
But, you’re still the only thing for which I care
It’s just a shame...
It’s just a saddening pity that’s all

Cody Shull, 2019
Apr 2019 · 155
Anamnesis
Cody Shull Apr 2019
Just one touch from your hand...
I would be sold at an instant
Never let me go and linger
Stay with me for a while
For I am nothing without you
Just a passerby, a stranger
A mere fleeting memory
Gone eternally within seconds

Etch me deep within your remembrance
Let me be forever known
For I am nothing as I am now
Put me to use, initiate me to be

Cody Shull, 2019
Apr 2019 · 308
Proscription
Cody Shull Apr 2019
Flirtatious in the way till you cannot speak
This time the forbidden fruit is too sweet
Look but don’t touch
Never thought I’d like her this much
Wanting to get to know her in more ways than one
Her elegance and beauty leaves me stunned
The way she moves...
Taunting me with every step she takes
Lost in a trance, mesmerized by her lips with every word that she makes
Within fantasy, I delve deeper
She’s certainly a keeper
Endless infatuation
Caught in a state of mesmerization

Left alone with only my thoughts to bear
Tortured by conformity
I wasn’t meant for this time
Too taboo to come to fruition
Lost within a future unknown
Depressed and broken
Cursed to exist

Cody Shull, 2019
Jan 2019 · 183
Virtuality
Cody Shull Jan 2019
Transmitting long distance whispers
Telling you something I couldn't before
Things I felt and still do feel
Hiding from discovery to protect myself
Afraid of being singled out
Fear of being denied
Acting on impulse, but meaning well
Unloading these once hidden truths unto you
To take them or leave them
Believe them true, I would never lie to you
My identity, the only masquerade

Pupils widen, noticing you favor my admiration
You accept my infatuation
Your fondness of my words reveals myself to you
Happy to let you know, glad I let it show
If only we can get face to face
What bliss staring into your eyes would be....

Cody Shull, 2019
Dec 2018 · 167
Destined Loneliness
Cody Shull Dec 2018
You shatter my self-esteem like glass
You drift away from me like wind blown amongst ash
Wallowing in fear and shame
Drowning with a lack of confidence
Never trusting, always doubting
Never smiling, always sulking
Wishing for a good day
Hoping for a better day
Losing my way, pushed astray
Not knowing who I am
Never knowing what I will end up becoming
Looking ahead in the far distance...
Only a bleak future waits for me
Grey sullen days and the blackest nights
All alone, all on my own
Destined loneliness is my calling
Ever since birth I’ve been falling
Fallen and falling still a crooked path
Tumbling down endlessly
No helping or guiding hand can catch me
Nor point me towards salvation
I am merely cursed to exist
From the beginning and until the end...

Cody Shull, 2018
Nov 2018 · 196
Immaculate
Cody Shull Nov 2018
Pleasantly lost
Within those windows to your soul
Never wanting to break this trance
Steadily gazing deep
Blissful mesmerization
Eye to eye hypnotic
An eternal stare of serenity
Forgetting past hardship
Losing myself in this moment
Enraptured by beauty

Cody Shull, 2018
Oct 2018 · 152
Melancholic Desolation
Cody Shull Oct 2018
Seeking validation, affection denied
Crawling for sympathy, decency defied
Shunned & left behind as all hope has dried

Caught deep within desperation
Deteriorating since the beginning
Barely able to stand on two feet
All my pride must be dead

To lift my head up high...
Would be suicide
My everlasting despair...
I cannot hide

Forlorn throughout bleak days
Sorrow enraptured
Stuck in a rut of dismay
Invisible as a ghost
Reality has long gone astray

Finding hope is trivial
There's none to be had
Cursed to exist in a hopeless world
With death always a certainty

Helpless as I grow older
Each year that reaches its conclusion...
Like a closing of a chapter
One segment of life closer to the end
One chapter can feel like an eternity
The diseased hands of death turning the page
Eerily & drearily pleased
Grimacing toward my existence

© Cody Shull, 2018
Sep 2018 · 168
Fantasy Department
Cody Shull Sep 2018
Swimming through fantasy
Stubborn, yet no turning back
Lost within a dream
Fading away from reality
Pointing out self-perceived perfection
Always meaning well

I'm stuck in the fantasy department
No one to help me out of this labyrinth
Caught indefinitely without certainty of escape
Trying to fantasize my way out

Finding my own secret euphoria
Drowning in waves of fantasy
Engulfed in doubt when reality opens my eyes
Emptiness & silence is all there is
But, I flee to where all senses are alight
I close my eyes for a better world

Stuck in the fantasy department
Nobody exists to help me now
No matter how far I run....
I try to fantasize my way out

© Cody Shull, 2018
Mar 2018 · 183
Left Alone
Cody Shull Mar 2018
Lost within your eyes
Your eyes a pleasant labyrinth
I yearn for no escape
Promise me you'll trap me forever in your gaze
Mesmerized beyond belief
Please, do not dare to look away
I'm not wanting to go astray
Been following your path for years
Lacking confidence, but the determination remains
Persistant flirtation, playing games
Several steps away from victory
Trailing behind and soaked in tears
You're the only one I want, my dear
In more ways than one
To hold you close and never let you go
Within an eternal embrace
You're the one I want here

Thinking of you on rainy days
With the sky above so grey
Matching my mood, the way that I feel
I know I'm needing you bad, because this pain is so real
Lost and alone, always on my own
To contemplate life
Swallowed whole in my own strife
My heart numbed to everything
Waited too long for something too good to be true
A hermit, a victim of my own insanity
Spriralling down with doubts to survive
Dying slow, unloved, and left alone

Cody Shull, 2018
Feb 2018 · 193
Forbidden Fruit
Cody Shull Feb 2018
I just don't know what to do with myself
She's only what my mind dwells on
Her eyes that drew me in
And her sweet tender voice
Yearning for a moment to be with her
Just her and I
Alone

Caught in awe
As her hair blows with the wind
And her pure, pretty complexion
Looking my way, I'm mesmerized
Wordless and nervous
I just don't know what to say

I know if I continue on this selfish path
I'll be left alone in despair
But, she's consumed me
Never will I be free?
Until I let go of this feeling
That has left me reeling

Her immaculate beauty taunts me
Reminding me she will never be mine
Strictly taboo and unorthodox
I guess in the end I'll be fine

Is it merely infatuation?
Intense, yes...but short-lived, no
Will she be my salvation?
To be redeemed I'll never know

I can't resist her addictive presence
As I leave subtle hints of my admiration
Mentally she sends me to a place of pleasance
If I persist, it will just end in adulteration

One sided from the start
Only in my dreams it's real
Trying to coax a spark
Can't seem to set her aflame
Never would I keep her ablaze

Doubting my confidence
I'm proud when I'm alone
Don't know how to go about it on my own
I'm king of nothing, nowhere, and nothing in-between

My adoration echos to the ground
Falling flat without a sound
Left behind in silence
Guilty of this emotional violence

Stuck in a depressive rut
Sinking deeper and deeper
Shackled, unable to be freed
Strapped in for a joyless ride
Stripped of all decency
****** into the void
Swallowed hole

Cody Shull, 2018
Feb 2018 · 180
Conflagration
Cody Shull Feb 2018
Playing with fire
Whenever I engage with you
Burnt each and every time
I have the scars to prove
You bring the heat
With such fiery elegance
I'm cursed to exist to burn
Within the flames of your twisted love
Left smoldering with each visit
When I'm dead, I'll be charred to the bone
Inextinguishable from the start
Your eyes alone pierce right through
Through my fragile soul
You bring Hell
But, you mean well
It's hard to tell
Who I'm dealing with
Deceived since we first met
An infernal goddess
Until the end

Cody Shull, 2018
Jan 2018 · 170
Wanted & Treasured
Cody Shull Jan 2018
Your eyes were the ones that sealed the deal
Your eyes alone captured me indefinitely
Never will I escape this prison of serenity
No need for a key, for I will forever remain
Within your embrace I am at home
Your lips caress my skin
As I breathed the words I feel
You heighten my every sense
You release life's pressures
You are a treasure, a pleasure to know
A pleasure to have and to hold
I gave into convention when I met you
Before I was blind, but now you make me see
A beautiful life lays in front of me, for once
You gave me your time and understanding
You gave me experience
You gave me hope
Hope for another day
To feel okay
To feel loved
Wanted and treasured

Cody Shull, 2018
Oct 2017 · 305
Throes of Winter
Cody Shull Oct 2017
I buried you under the throes of winter
Frozen stuck, but I will learn to thaw you
Please have confidence in my warmth
Yes, I'm capable, but am I willing?

I promise you I do mean well
Even though I'm deserving of Hell
Yearning to kiss your lips of cold
But, it'll just freeze my soul

Have a little patience for me
I will come around sometime
Have a little faith and you'll see
And I will make sure that you will be mine

Cody Shull, 2017
Jun 2017 · 239
Fallen to Darkness
Cody Shull Jun 2017
I did not ask to be born
But, here I am
Alive

I yearn for things
Though, I never want them in the end
Only to disappoint

Never knowing what happens next
Burdened by existence
Cursed to live

Don't ask me how I am
I'll just lie
You don't want the truth

Hiding from discovery
Shunning out the light
At home with the darkness that embraces me

Cody Shull, 2017
Jun 2017 · 215
Curse of Reverence
Cody Shull Jun 2017
Now is the time to forget the stories of old
Masking us away from things that we will never know
Until death and beyond all things will be known
If there is indeed a final destination
Take it or leave it
Our will is the law
Think for yourself
You make the final decision
Unless you're taken out of your own control
It is what it is
It has been known
It's there for you to decide

Cody Shull, 2017
May 2017 · 230
Eternal Loving Devotion
Cody Shull May 2017
Cannot look away
You are all that matters
You're everything, they're nothing
Reach out and take my hand
I'll take you to a celestial land
Don't be afraid
Do not fear, my dear
For I love you most
We complete each other's destiny
We were meant to come together
Together as one
Forever and always
Without end
In eternal loving devotion

Cody Shull, 2017
May 2017 · 320
Compel Me
Cody Shull May 2017
Compel Me
You've tried my carnal patience
With a fleeting glance of euphoria
You've torn my little world apart
Frozen in time, I yearn for this moment
Yet, independent and fancy-free I carry on
There's an ounce of hope inside myself
Just maybe you'll compel me

Bottling up my feelings
Keeping what I had seen a secret
I've grown restless and anxious
Wondering if I'll ever get a second look
I do not dare look into your eyes
If we meet eyes, I've already confessed
But, I'm still curious what you've had in mind

Do not ask why this has consumed me
I am the last one to tell
You've paved my path of indecency a darker shade
Confusing my already tainted road to nowhere
More deep-rooted grime onto my slate
Never to be cleansed until we both give in to the fire
A tempting enough blaze to entice the most stubbornest of moths

Cody Shull, 2017
Mar 2017 · 261
Forever Alone
Cody Shull Mar 2017
I'm sorry, I just can't
Leave me alone
I know I have my faults
I'm damaged
No, nothing traumatic happened to me
My life was okay
Nothing great and nothing bad
Just stuck within my bad self image
That I cannot crawl out of
As if anchored to the ocean floor
Suffocating on waves of uncertainty
I know I can't afford to be this afraid
Wasting away the best years of my life
But, it's something greater than myself
And it has possessed every fiber of my being
So, please, leave me be
I will always be alone
I was not meant for this life
Forever alone

Cody Shull, 2017
Jan 2017 · 338
Better Days Together
Cody Shull Jan 2017
Free yourself from hesitation
Relax and let go of complication
There's no need for negativity
There's no reason to be upset

I offer you peace
Forget yourself in me
And drown in the calm

Wrapping you within my arms
I mean no harm
With me you will find sanctuary
I know you're fed up and wary
I can understand where you're coming from

Don't shy away from the mirror
I'll swallow your fear
And dry your tears
I'll always be here

Believe me
Keep the faith for a better day
Stay with me and hold my hand
We'll reach a better day together

Cody Shull, 2017
Jan 2017 · 626
Commensurable Bond
Cody Shull Jan 2017
I've seen you before
On the same streets I no longer take
I've never seen you since then
Always I wondered if I would ever see you again

One with the rain
Drenched in apathy
Entangled in pain
I confess to you bashfully

Lost within myself
Seems like forever
I think I may need your help
Yearning to be together

If you ever find these words
Please know that they were written true
They were only meant for you

Cody Shull, 2017
Jan 2017 · 319
Synesthesia
Cody Shull Jan 2017
I delve deep down to the sound of your voice
I'm a slave to your unique tone
I could listen to you speak endlessly
Doesn't matter what it is that you have to say
Just make sure you say it all to me

I will hear you out, word for word
Take your time, there's no rush
Speak to me and I'll hush

I never have much to say
The floor is all yours, if that's okay
Hanging onto your every word
Even if it will bring tears, I'm all ears
I'll swallow all of your fears

Freedom you will find
In me you can confide
Bear the burdens you bottle inside
Lay out your inhibitions and leave them to die

Speak of what has long been unsaid
Open your soul to someone who cares, instead
I care wholeheartedly
What has long haunted thee?

Cody Shull, 2017
Jan 2017 · 406
Sensual Liberty
Cody Shull Jan 2017
In for a wild ride. A mere goddess. Hair of fire and eyes that just pierce right through. Nights of bliss are at hand. Her sensuous aroma beckoning me to come closer. Seducing me with her ever so enticing eyes. Mesmerized beyond belief. Awestruck by her every word she had spoken. Her voice sending seductive chills down my spine. I was begging for more. I couldn't let this night of perfection to end. I wanted us to be more than friends. Just forget who we were. And let go of ourselves within each other. Unwind and delve deep down into our souls. Indulge in the potential good times. And don't worry about what happens after it all. Just let it happen. Let this energy play out through. It has long been built up. And it has long been overdue. To be released at last. No holding back. No inhibitions. Shyness devoured. Blossoming like a flower. A rebirth of confidence. Reborn to be burst free from the clutches of morality. Gone are the days of lonely. My black cloud has gone astray. Now I'm in cloud nine. Senses heightened. Glad to be alive. Despair has fled off and away into obscurity. Never to be seen again. Unless, I choose it to be...

Cody Shull, 2017
Jan 2017 · 281
Paradisal Sway
Cody Shull Jan 2017
Fixated on you
My attention is entrapped by your beauty
Drowning you in compliments
Are they too much?
Let me know how you like it
I'll try my best to fight it
Wanting to kiss every inch of you
Yearning to feel your delicate touch
My every wish and desire holds a piece of you
Always and forever you'll be in my memory
Even if it's just a fleeting glance
Even if it's just one night
Within my mind you dance
To a soft tune of delight
Swaying to the playful melody
Moving to the beat
In the heat of the night
Getting carried away
I start to sweat
Body's wet
Eye to eye
Lost within the moment
Of bliss
We kiss
Losing ourselves within each other
A serene escape
Paradise

Cody Shull, 2017
Dec 2016 · 209
Never Let You Go
Cody Shull Dec 2016
You're my drug of choice
You get me high
You help me reach cloud nine
I never want to come back down
Paradise is you, you're my heaven
You're everything I've ever dreamed of
You're the gift that keeps on giving
You're my muse that keeps me going

In high regard...
I don't think I could ever set you down
I am awestruck by your natural beauty
Mesmerized by your beautiful purity
In constant admiration daily
I could never forget you

Unforgettable, without question
You help free me away from my insecurities
I open up and feel truly myself with you by my side
I could never let you go

Cody Shull, 2016
Cody Shull Oct 2016
I can't let you see me
Avert your eyes
You'd despise
You'd go blind

I can't let you hear me
Don't listen
Ignore what I say
Forget I exist

Not worthy of your love
Not worthy to be in your presence
Worthless to the core
Worthless from the start

I can't let you touch me
Refrain to feel
I'd taint your skin
It would be a sin

I can't let you love me
You'd be repulsed
You'd be unamused
Cursed with a loveless heart

Not worthy of your love
Not worthy to be in your presence
Graced with an insignificance
Adorned with a crown of failure

Worthless to the core
Worthless from the beginning
Worthless in the heart
Worthless till the end

Cody Shull, 2016
Oct 2016 · 237
Abandonment of Hope
Cody Shull Oct 2016
Fearful to commit
For slavery I wish not to submit
Liberty wasted away
Pride in decay

I despise what I see in the mirror
Face to face in hate
It doesn't get any clearer
Anguish beginning to pulsate

Abandonment of hope
Nothing remains to help me cope
Left behind emotionally beaten and scarred
Further and further away from normalcy,
I had strayed too far

Struggling to exist
I stand alone

Cody Shull, 2016
Oct 2016 · 397
Inflexible
Cody Shull Oct 2016
Blockaded from my conquests of the flesh
Dead-ended to my passionless endeavors
I wish not to delve into depth
But, to get my feet wet
Initiate me to be

Frustrated by time and time again
I never had a lover, nor a friend
Lacking a moral compass
I try to maintain common sense, nonetheless

The clock taunts
Negative thoughts haunt
Between drivel I am caught
These feelings too grave to be fought

Trumpets of doom begin to blow
A cringeworthy serenade
Life moving along so slow
I depart from this masquerade

Inflexible to my desires
Taking cover
Inflexible to my dreams
Evacuate
Inflexible to life
For life I abominate

Cody Shull, 2016
Oct 2016 · 192
Untitled
Cody Shull Oct 2016
Back and forth my mind races
Cannot decide when it's time for me
For my time to rise
Like the phoenix amongst the ashes of failure
I await the green light to shine for me
I always set myself up for misadventure
My stubbornness will be my downfall

I know which path to follow
But, I fear for my first steps
Set too much in my ways
I hold myself back
Saving myself from uncertainty

Expecting the worst
Hanging in doubt
Amateur, ******
Suffering by myself and myself alone

Waiting for the perfect moment
Waiting for the perfect answer
Fleeing from the scene of life
Seeking absolution

Even if my wishes came true
It may end in disaster
Even if my desires were met
It'll hollow me out further more

And still...nothing's different

Cody Shull, 2016
Oct 2016 · 255
Entry Level Lover
Cody Shull Oct 2016
I need coaxing to come out of my shell
Move me further away from my comfort zone
Take me by hand to wherever is good
Where you and I can be alone

Itching to be free
Lost within myself
Give me a little push
I need your help
I want to pounce
Lacking courage
Not even an ounce

Let me be your entry level lover
Invite me in with your eyes
Give me a chance
Whether it's a kiss, a dance,
or just some old fashioned romance

Suffering in silence
I yearn for excitement
Wasting the best years of my life
Missing out
I live in doubt

Desperate to be freed
Break these self-made chains
And grab what's been waiting for me

Let me be your entry level lover
Invite me in with your smile
That's all I need

Cody Shull, 2016
Oct 2016 · 220
Untitled
Cody Shull Oct 2016
Another day in the life of a loner
Seeking certain things that seem too out of reach
Always failing, always falling down
Hopelessness grows and grows
Don't know what to do anymore
Lost ambition, low confidence
Sickened to the heart
Feel like dying
Lacking answers
Getting hurt repeatedly
Rejection brands me
Searing pain into my flesh
As I pour a bit of my soul
To a stranger I do not know
No reply at all
Shutting down
I turn myself off
Lost in my depressed thoughts
Overwhelmed by insecurity
I lose myself in despair
Dazed and confused
Everyday seems the same
Blurred are the days
Melancholic
Sad and lost

Cody Shull, 2016
Aug 2016 · 394
Coruscate
Cody Shull Aug 2016
She seduced me
With every part of her
She tempted me
To delve deep into her essence
Indulge in the sweetness
The sweetness I desired
The sweetness I was lacking

Savor the flavor of temptation
High on this natural ecstasy
I kissed her from her feet
to her pretty face
Her lips I want to taste

Losing myself in her
Was the easiest thing that I could do
It was second nature

Refuge from the dark
Into the light of her bliss
Shining bright as the brightest
star in the darkest night
of her soul

Fire licking our hearts
Passion running wild within us
Shining as bright as Hell
Sparkling beyond belief

Cody Shull, 2016
Jun 2016 · 261
Untitled
Cody Shull Jun 2016
I always thought of you as my angel
I held you in high regard
I held you up
And you shot me down

I hung onto your name for years
Hoping that we could meet again
When the chance arose, you left me behind
Just like you did all those years ago

I failed the first impression
I guess I didn't meet your expectation
You ran towards fantasy
But, ended up running away from reality

Without explanation you left me be
Away from me you flee
You're fond of the memories
But, you're no longer fond of me...

Cody Shull, 2016
Jun 2016 · 377
Despair Entombed
Cody Shull Jun 2016
I'm an emotional coward
Gathering up the fear
Of trying to pursue you

Dying to pounce
But, backwards I bounce
Speechless whenever you are near
Without words I lose myself within your eyes

Maybe how I look at you...
Will answer your confusion..

I'm caught in frustration
Trapped in imagination
Drowning in fantasies
Shying away from reality

With me there's always something to fear
I live in doubt
Shutting the outside world out
Silence is all I ever want to hear

Screaming inside
Uncertainty consumed
This desire will never subside
Despair entombed

Cody Shull, 2016
Jun 2016 · 255
Fragile Hope
Cody Shull Jun 2016
I saw you standing near the edge of my garden
Peering into my refuge where I made myself captive
Curiosity flooded your mind, anxious to figure me out
Vines around my face, covering my lips, unable to speak
Constricting my expression, squeezing my life away
Helpless by my own doing, only have myself to blame
Shrouded by the undergrowth, unable to ever know
But, there's nothing worth to mention if you asked about me
I'd still be encased in this prison of mine if you asked for me
Sunlight barely touches my skin, which has turned cold
Never been kissed, never reached a level of normalcy
Always running away from something that was common
Always thinking there was something much more
Guess I was just waiting for death

Cody Shull, 2016
Jun 2016 · 450
Within Her
Cody Shull Jun 2016
An old soul in disguise - she said to me elegantly
Gentle and kind - she was to me
Her soft eyes - lost and mesmerized
As she holds out her hand - loneliness dies

Within her - I found comfort
Within her - I found peace

You seem miles away - she said to me with sadness
That I was lost amongst a world so cold
Frozen emotionless, lacking pride
She said, "Within me, you can confide"

Within her - I found tranquility
Within her - I found serenity

Within her I buried myself
I drowned in her affection
Tears of joy at last
Which floods the loveless void out of me

Cody Shull, 2016
Jun 2016 · 301
Affliction
Cody Shull Jun 2016
I always shut myself down
Whenever you're around
On guard every second
Whenever you come into view
It's a problem that I face
Almost everyday
Maybe it's the ****** frustration
That's getting in the way
Maybe it's because you're extremely pretty
And it discourages me to find the right words to say
I've grown to adapt to my social flaws
I feel inadequate and inferior
I lack self-esteem
I am something, but feel like nothing
Nothing is what I have made for myself

Cody Shull, 2014
Jun 2016 · 253
Century
Cody Shull Jun 2016
It has seemed like centuries
And it still does now as I stand
Standing emotionless still
Dead inside the heart of a dying man

Love wasted by waiting on myself
Waiting for a change to take effect
Searching for normalcy
In a world so lost

It feels like a century has gone by
Time did not wait for me
It charged on forth without hesitation
Without mercy it slain me

And here I am now, older
But, am I wiser?
It's hard to tell
When there's nothing to reflect on

Cody Shull, 2014
Jun 2016 · 225
Secret to the End
Cody Shull Jun 2016
A look into your eyes
All secrets are revealed
They are all safe with me
I will not tell a soul
I promise you this

Deep inside I feel you
Blackness cast upon me
Your secrecy brands me
Anointed with your blood
I'm sworn to your darkness

Channeling searing pain
Feeling every heartache
Feeling every regret
I become one with you
Two souls burned into one

Cody Shull, 2016
Jun 2016 · 192
Melancholia
Cody Shull Jun 2016
She cried to pass the time
Caught in an endless time of grief
The pain would never leave
Struggling deep inside
Suffering without end
She felt like she could just die
As she's lacking comfort from a true friend
She believes this sorrow will never cease
As she desperately crashes hard to her knees
Crying out pleas to the air
Not caring how distraught she appeared
Just to find someone who would care
Seeking a kind soul
Within a world so cold
Overwhelmingly lost
Yearning to reach peace at any cost
She deemed her hysterics have gone silent
Fallen to deaf ears who just don't understand
Begging to be held
Desperate to be loved
Looking out for a generous hand
A soft touch
She wants to feel so much

Cody Shull, 2016
Jun 2016 · 231
Within the Tempest
Cody Shull Jun 2016
Happiness washes over me
Whenever a storm draws near
When the wind begins
My sorrow ends
And as the rainfall comes down
True inner peace is suddenly found
The cool air with the smell of rain
Washes away all the pain
I lose myself within the tempest
Within this serene escape I am encompassed
I surrender to this darkened sky paradise
Where this stormy atmosphere feels ever so nice
I don't mind if the skies turn to grey
It's the only way that will brighten my day
When the lightning and thunder pounds
This stormy song resounds
Keeping me company for however long
Hoping for long enough until this sadness is gone
This is what I wait for
For the rain to pour
Cascading down to me
Washing my mind clean
Beholding this majestic sight
Hoping it storms all through the night

Cody Shull, 2016
Jun 2016 · 289
I Am Misery
Cody Shull Jun 2016
I can't look in your eyes
If I did, I would die
An overdose of beauty I could not fathom
I would hide in the deepest chasm

I flee to the safest haven
For perfection, you're a maven
I just could not compare
Your angelic face I could not bear

Your serenity would blind me
Never again would I be able to see
Life's uncertainties

Then again, it would be a blessing
Sorry for confessing
As you see...
Life's too stark for me
I face this world and crumble
If I spoke I would mumble
A pitiful sound
Nothing profound

I am me...
I am misery

Cody Shull, 2016
Jun 2016 · 444
I Am My Own Savior
Cody Shull Jun 2016
I breathe and I breathe
Hoping for something new
I dream and I dream
Wishing for something true

I sit and I wait
As the pages of life are flipped
Reaching closer to the end by the claws of death

I must make up my mind
Before it's too late
My destiny lies in my own hands

I hold the key
To the solution
To the answer
To the conclusion
To end this painful exclusion

Cody Shull, 2016
Jun 2016 · 223
Reality of Love
Cody Shull Jun 2016
I'm yearning to be free
For a different kind of freedom
Just to relax and let go
Of all complicated feelings
Giving in to pleasure
Unearthing this naked treasure
Unlock what has been undone
Break free from these self-made chains
Disintegrate each link until it unravels me
Collapsing to my knees
As the drama unfolds
Released to peace at last
Just one kiss may save my life
I'd let the affection steal me away from the cold light of day
To lift me to the highest high
Opening my eyes to truth
Opening my heart to the reality of love

Cody Shull, 2016

— The End —