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Clovina Oct 2013
Something that was really New.
Something that came out of the Blue.
A Scar that's made by words that's True.
Loosing my Faith and Trust in You.

A Scar that made its place too Deep.
A Scar that I do not wish to Keep.
I ask for it to go Away,
But what should've been Heard has Yet to Say.

Cry me a River of Tearless Pain,
Full of Woe and Suffering pouring down like Rain.
Stabbing me in the back with Knives of Shame,
Playing my feelings like a Game.

Can I Say I no longer feel Insane?
I've been Living in a Mind of Vain.
A Fatal mistake I have made,
This Scar I have May Never Fade.
Clovina Oct 2013
See
How many times will it take for you to finally
Understand…
How many tries should I try just for you to know what's
True…

How long do I have before I
Go Away
To the point we have
Nothing to Say...

Part we will
Our Separate Ways,
Nevertheless till the
End of our Days.

What would it take for you to
Understand,
Whom this person really is from
*Within.
Clovina Oct 2013
I'm breathing...
I'm breathing...

Sitting there,
I try to convince myself I'm breathing.

I'm breathing,
I'm alright...
I'm alright,
Am I not?

Slowly,
My breath diminishes,
They die out...

Slowly,
My tears cry...
My feelings overflow.

Smothered

It's a feeling that can't be explained.
It feels like you're Buried,
Buried beyond Deep,
And yet...
Your physical being is still there...
Trembling*
But it's beyond that.

It's pressure within your Mind,
Pressure within your Emotions
Pressure within your Voice....
You Tremble from that Pressure
But it's beyond that.

It Silences you.
It Breaks you.
It Burdens you.
You Lose.
You Start to Die
And then you Die.
But it's beyond that...
Because it Kills you.

*But it's beyond that...
Way beyond that...
Clovina Oct 2013
I hated you...
Your smile,
Your laugh,
Your cheerfulness,
It all makes me sick.
And yet we've became friends....

Slowly...
You coax me,
Into caring for you,
We've became friends...
But soon,
That all changed...

I saw a good you...
One who was nice,
One who cared,
One who was always there,
But then you left...
Where were you when I needed you the most?

I cried,
And cried.
My tears unseen.
I cry,
My cries.
Never to be heard.

I protected you,
I cared for you,
But your naiveness
Always take away your reason....

You get hurt,
But I pick you back up....
Why would I pick you back up?
I thought I hated you...

I was deceived...
You get broken,
I pick up the broken pieces,
Again and again.

You take the pieces back,
And still...
broken...
And still like a fool
I pick them up,
Trying to fix them.

I cared too much...
I *hated
you and yet I was there....
And so I left...

Tired of picking you up
Tired of fixing your broken you
Just to be broken again and again by your naiveness
Tired of being jealous of you
Tired of hating you
Tired of caring for you
Tired of being a fool
And most of all...
Tired of being a bad friend....
This is why I left you....
And yet I don't know why I wrote this...
You'll never see it.....
Because you never knew...
I lost my trust because of you...
Clovina Oct 2013
I stare at those Eyes,
Watching them Die,
Stare at them Helplessly,
Watching them Cry.

I look Deeper,
Behind those Dark Eyes,
To see a Story,
Covered by a smiling Lie.

I walk through the Memories,
That feels less like a Dream,
I walk through the Nightmares,
That is her Reality.

I see a Girl,
In her Mother's Lap.

Sitting in the Dark,
Afraid of what'll come next.


Another memory,
Replacing the last,
Seeing a Girl,
Trying to out run her Past.

Scars on her Wrist,
Bruises on her Back.

Heart of Stone,
With Ice Cold Blood.

Crying in the Corner,
Alone in the Dark.

A Bitter Corpse,
Created by Heart.


I stare at those Eyes,
Watching them Slowly Die,
Stare at them Helplessly,
Watching them Cry.

I look Deeper.
Into those Blue Eyes,
To feel an Ocean,
Of a Melancholy Life.

Waves of Fear,
Ice of Guilt.

Thunder of Tears,
Tides of Sorrow.

Seas of Anger,
Storms of Pain.

Sighs of Lost Trust,
A Girl in Vain.


I stare at those Eyes,
Watching them Cry.
I seize a Moment,
To Close My Eyes.

I Grab Hold of Her,
And Hold her Tight,
Feeling her body shake from the Chaos,
That is Tormenting her Inside...
Clovina Oct 2013
She left me,
She killed me,
My trust,
Has faded,
She killed it.
Did she not?
Or was it me?
Was I becoming distant?
Did I trust her too easily?
Was it me that killed her?
Did I leave her...

It's my fault,
I left her,
And now,
Both of us are dead.

Sitting here I'm thinking in a mind full of vain,
Replaying the risky game,

I should have stayed,
I should have stayed...
Why didn't I stay?

A friend I stopped being long ago,
I left with a reason that is still unknown...
The plot goes in a twisted way,
A story has been wavering in its place.

She speaks bad of someone we know,
However I trusted her so and so.
Two months go by and it gets worse,
I soon start noticing someone is using her.

I try to tell her,
My warnings went unheard;
However her cries of mercy surely will.
She now asks me for some help,
But I no longer know what I should tell her about.

Anger I feel every now and then,
Is normal for me yet I still pretend.
Friends come and go, that I see,
Yet I'm asking myself what's wrong with me.  

I get hurt, I get blamed,
I've been playing a dangerous game.
Anger and loneliness I've been feeling for a while,
Is no longer here,
So why am I still full of Guilt and Sorrow...

If she's still alive can I ever tell her I'm sorry?*

I'm sorry till the bitter end....
Clovina Oct 2013
Distant distant far away
Night is swallowing our distant days
We grew apart, walking our separate ways
Keeping our secrets right at bay

Hide hide hide from fear
Scared of everything that comes near
Nightmares I do not wish to bare
Trying to live with little care

Lies lies I've been told
There is nothing I can hold
My heart is stone my blood is cold
Dare approach me if you are bold

Days, weeks, years go by
The ocean sings a lullaby
Wind in trees whisper a sigh
Time fades into the dark of night

They would come and they would go
Time and limit is still unknown
Drift and follow the Memory flow
Forget what will soon be shown
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