any open surface
become
tiny crevices
eroded by
round rolled
objets
add water
down a *****
add gravity,
speeds the process
aging the
outer me



©ClemC102013

Bricks! Mortar!
feathers. more tar.
to hold it together, too hold it together
without using my hands.

I use my eyes to see.
I use my ears to hear.
I use my lips...
                       to shape words.
When I am speechless around you.
You may never read this.
You may never know it is about you.
                            But it is!

i can't hold it together, i can't hold it together
my legs are heavy and my feet awkward,
my heart beats like someone pounding down
the door downstairs, hammering, hammering
will it hold together, will it hold together

it won't, I won't, my life won't
                                                 unless we are together.

Let's throw in together, forever?
                                                   But, how do I show you I can hold it together.

Windows shut and locked.
Doors shut and locked.
Shutters closed over my heart.
                                                 So no one can see, my failure to hold it together.

Unless...we  .   .   .



©ClemC102013

when I awake and the bed is wet with sweat,
the wind knocks against the window pane,
I fret that I should let in the wind,
it is plain to see I am not better yet,
when I awake to realize the day is not arrived,
in the dark alone I lay and cannot close my eyes
what if I forgot to lock the door,
what if that shadow in the corner,

is much more that a figment of
my restless mind, the sheet is knotted
now and I am in a bind
I just curl up and wilt
I curl up, I am not built
of steel or concrete,
I am flesh, slowly rotting meat
I curl up and pray for light of
any kind, even headlights from
the road, the dark has absorbed
it all so as I fall I curl up,
so I don't fall down into despair
not knowing where it is I
sleep tonight, would anyone even care?
I hope, whoever
she is, beside me, knows where
and will tell me in the morning
and not leave without a warning
... I pray softly, "please pretend to care"


©ClemC102013

Oh this time out,
      No doubt about,
IT,
Will not be my last,
I will go back and back,
For it is my future,
I met Her where the land
Failed to go further,
What a gentle maiden the Sea
was, for I had never met Her,
like this before, the white sharp
teeth barely showed, as Her lips
curled as waves do,
and She spoke with a still sweet
voice, not the snarl and crash
I am used to, and She whispered
to ME, "step closer, and enter me,
I will take you, lighten your load,
we will float together, under the stars,
                        Forever.
I stood
and sobbed
bottle to my
lips, full the
emptiness,
the loneliness
I share with
no one except
the sea, sorry,
the Sea, the will,
if I had not had a
miserable life,
which makes
me undeserving
to lay with you Sea,
as you would pour
into me, to empty
my sorrows, replace
my one joy, with
a cold into which,
my witch, you
would no longer
recognize the
bloated cocoon
that would hide
me, as I would
bottom out of life
to consummate
            You my wife,
strangers
once again,
starting over.

©ClemC102013

sleeping in my bed,
strange,
to be home, from Gladstad

standing on the edge of your beauty,
found a path through the scrub that
               Brings me to my knees,       to        a     place
                    where I have not been,
                          for some Swiss time.

From this precipice there is, naught but beauty.

you must be here, your winged wonders,
hang on the updrafts like it is the breath
                   That you exhale with care,
                        just enough to hold           them         there
                                 hundreds in flight,
                                      in sight.

I have no way to capture this, complete with what my eyes alone, do soak.

or you make the wind and water in this fjord far below,
hue of the blue sky so pure with a cloud or two, for show,
        I so badly want to shout and    hear    the    echo,    echo
               but to have this view, for me, quiet
                  silence is the comfort, I need.

Strand me here  if you must in this place this,  
  
space so free and so much to see, so far from society
especially delightful to such as these, a part of your
                         Creative identity, but    who     am    I,
                                that I should see the face of,
                                      you, in whom I believe.

And yet I live.


©ClemC102013

desires are wildfires that show up, like candles tall as trees,
my face belies me, so do not take advantage of me and play poker,
with my poker face,
I would wear my heart on my sleeveless shirt, I know it would beat and
stay there by itself for you, beating the odds, thumping them out at 4:1,
without skipping a...,
the cliches that keep us together are all that we have,
we have only had bad times and I wouldn't know a good time,
if it waited on a street corner,
like I am now,
alone.


©ClemC102013