Hey Mr. Wall! It's your ******* up friend!
I've cut her wide open; will she ever mend?
She came to me, tears streaming, but did I wish her well?
No, instead I freaked out and she said, "Go to hell"
So it's been quite some time since I talked to her last
And I know what she speaks of, that event in the past
When I said, "I've no right to hear all of your tales
You've med all that clear; but just tell me what ails!
You're closing the doors, all the walls are air tight
You said you'd say something, well, how about tonight?"
No response did she give, so I started to worry
So I texted her, back-pedalling this time with hurry
It was next afternoon when I got the reply
Another came later: "I was bit by a guy"
I replied with an "oh" and "How'd that go down?"
She said "After, he kissed me." And I started a frown
Then the frown turned to tears and I said "Well, that's neat"
She said "Yeah" and " 'night" 'cause I guess she was beat
Well, it went on like that: nights of tears, days of silence
Day after day I had thoughts of self-violence
The White Room* was no help, and venting no good
I was sure she had a new guy like I figured she would
I just wanted a clue for me to grasp tight
With no contact from her, I hugged my pillow at night
I would openly cry, and that bugged me to hell
Because it wasn't about me; was she doing well?
I felt like a ******* and so **** needy
I wanted to hear her and that made me greedy
But **** it I loved her and wanted to know
How'd I ***** up and make her hate me so
I wouldn't find out for a week and a half
From 11 to 23 and maybe you'd laugh,
But that time was torture and helplessness thrived
Into pools of depression, I stepped forth and dived
Because I missed her so much, even before all this started
And now I had opened my mouth and we parted
My shoes were the same my own sign of depression
Then she called to say goodnight; relationship regression?
I didn't know yet, but I asked her that later
I didn't force an answer like a high school debator
She didn't want to talk, nor was that up for discussion
But at least she responded and my heart did percussion
I wanted to clear this; what did I do?
How can I fix things so we were ok, us two?
I was starting to think, maybe I'd end it
Make a noose with a chain, hoped my body didn't bend it
String me up, say goodbye, leave her better without me
Then there'd be no more reason to trust, hate, or doubt me
But I knew that'd solve nothing, So I stopped all that thinking
Because I knew she wasn't well; like myself, she was sinking
Maybe she just didn't want me anymore
Maybe dealing with stupidity was too big of a chore
I talked to my father when he caught me crying
He said, "Send her a note. Let her know that you're dying
To hear her at least, but you've got the wrong cat.
I was a no one in school. So I'm not hip to all that.
But maybe if you drop a little 'How do you do?'
She'll reply in the like and start talking to you.
I don't know her too good, so I can't gaurantee
But that's what I'd do; I mean, if you were me."
I thanked him for the talk but it didn't really aid
Me in my mission, I felt like Doug Quaid
I wasn't sure what I'd done to get this girl ******
But unlike Doug and Melina, we had never kissed
I was so afraid we'd ended, that she was moving on
While I awaited her return, she was already gone
But this wasn't the case, as I found Sunday night
When she caught me off-guard and ended the fight
"You said something upsetting." She told me right then
"I'm not sure what it was, why you said it, or when
But I know it upset me and kinda made me mad
And what's worse is you said it when I was already sad
I couldn't speak for a moment; I felt like the devil
This new info took my stupidity to the next level
I whispered, "I'm sorry" and I've never meant it more
I hated that I caused her to be so **** sore
"I don't want to be mad anymore" is what she said
"And why I was mad has just slipped from my head
We talked for some minutes; about 32, I guess
I asked, "Can I call in the morning?" and she said yes
So I'm hopeful that maybe quite soon we'll be fine
And maybe there's still a chance that she'll be mine.

She swayed in the breeze
Beneath those wide willow trees
Like a fragile, fallen angel in white
But though I had started
Her lips remained parted
And I knew then that she was all right

She called to me lightly
Cooing, and, brightly,
I closed several inches of space
I stood as though touching
This miracle clutching
My arm and the side of my face

She pulled me in, then
And I did not know when
The earth had stopped twirling about
But when locked lip-in-lip
And when tongues inward slip
There's no want to find ways to get out

The rains came swift, no chance had I
To guard myself from cold
Yet whether water came from sky
Or earthen veins like gold,
A pulsing flow, a chilling stream
Denied me warmth to spite
And so I drifted into dream
Where at last I spent the night

Wish I were a satellite
To send my cares away
Spot them as I’m coming down
And vanish with the day

Wish I were a lightning storm
With color, light, and cloud
Silently define the night
Or shout my presence loud

Wish I were a butterfly
Caught in a hurricane
Ripped apart with regal force
Accentuating pain

Wish I were a grain of sand
By ocean, lake, or bay
Caught within a gentle wave
And slowly float away

I gotta confession
You're my little obsession
(I say little cause the shrine's only one wall)
I just want to see you
And I want her to be you
But that's something that won't ever happen at all

So your name's Amanda
And I said I'd remember it by how much
You aren't like Amanda Bynes
And you know my friend the dancer
You were there when I asked if she had
Cut that guy's head off with a snap of a leg leftover from
A misstepped plie
I told you my name
Age
Blood type
Mother's maiden name
And address
Just to make conversation
(and also because I knew you wouldn't remember any of it)
And you said that it was creepy that I decided
To sit near you
When everyone else I knew
Had left me
(I left enough room for Jesus between our backpacks
Sitting side by side)
I can't blame you for being rude
I just wish I was better at making
Good first impressions
Than I was at small talk

I hold a secret deep inside
(no, not syphilis)
I thought it might be false
But it's true and not a lie at all
And this causes a problem
So listen up and listen well
Just ignore all the signs you see
Because they'll lead you wrong
Just promise to try
Try and avoid the secret
Because it is a problem
If you would read its lore

What do you call people endearingly?
Sugar
Honey
Dumpling
Lemon Meringue Pie
I get hungry thinking of things to call her
Love
Babe
Baby
Darling
Am I being old-fashioned? Do people still speak this way?
My dark angel
Mon cherie
Deliciae meae
Dove
Doll
What to say?

She asks me to love her
Totally and unconditionally
To be hers and hers alone
Forever

I accept with a smile
But all the while
Doubt is gnawing at the back of my mind:
*She made love with another man...