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498 · Dec 2014
Imagination
Clare udy Dec 2014
You are in my imagination.
You are my life
you are my love
you are my love of my life.
you are nothing
you are everything
I am nothing
but I am everything.
You are my everything
and I am your nothing.
Nothing is my love, but everything is you.
You are my imagination, love and everything. I am your imagination,  but not your everything but your nothing.
440 · Dec 2014
Suffocatin
Clare udy Dec 2014
I'm a foolish fragile spine. Wanting all that is not mine, I want him but we're not " right ". They all agree that I'm a suffercator. I'm burying all my secrets in my skin.love is just a camouflage of what reresembles rage again. Because I love you, I'll let you go. My love is just to dark to care. My smile was taken long ago, if I can change I hope I never know. You couldn't hate enough to love. I only wish you were my friend. Spiraling down, biting words likea wolf howling.I used to be a lunattic from the gracious days, my aching heart would bleed for you to see, but now no more I love yous the language is leaving me. I didn't feel the fairytale feeling anymore, am I a stupid girl for ever dreaming that I could. If you leave when I go, find me in the shallows.
I don't know what this mean but it's a bunch of lyric sections from different songs.
399 · Dec 2014
Thinking about you
Clare udy Dec 2014
I can't stop thinking about you, every little happy and sad moment that I've experienced.  Every embarrassing moment around
381 · Dec 2014
Imagination
Clare udy Dec 2014
You are in my imagination.
You are my life
you are my love
you are my love of my life.
you are nothing
you are everything
I am nothing
but I am everything.
You are my everything
and I am your nothing.
Nothing is my love, but everything is you.
You are my imagination, love and everything. I am your imagination,  but not your everything but your nothing.
376 · Dec 2014
Your sweet glorious smile
Clare udy Dec 2014
"Please deliver this note to N9, maths block" the office lady said gracefully. I nodd and quickly skip with happiness and life fulfillment absent to thoughts of renching love.

As I walk in the dark doors of what was classified as the maths block, I see this beautiful young felow sitting outside his classroom with a sweet glorious cheeky smile. He looks over at me, and yells out my name with a little wave. My heart warms, and my happiness bounces even higher. A thought runs through my head about how happy it was to be acknowledged and I race back to the office.

The bitter sweet feeling of someone you never took any notice of until that day, made you feel amazing and loved again without any loss of energy.

Today, that young fellow with the sweet glorious smile is the felow that I'm am now in love with, but have been for two years.
I realised  now that the sweet wonderful admiring happiness that fill my mind was taken to another dimension which all of a sudden longed to be loved by others.
This is about a young handsome boy that got up to trouble " sitting outside of class with a cheeky grin" acknowledged me and caused me to fall, but now I regret falling because I was better off without it from the start because now I long for love more than ever before.
319 · Jan 2017
Im ready
Clare udy Jan 2017
Foot on the pedal as far as it can go, inhaling what feels like my last cigarette. My mind is so far beyond forgiveness, all I want to do is end this.
With scars on my legs, and bags under my eyes, I sit in my car by the cemetery, contemplating wether to be with the silent and invisible or go back home.
293 · Dec 2014
Lost
Clare udy Dec 2014
A thought passed my mind last night, as I sit on the pale green steps in your garage listening to the words of your past. As your relatives relate to it, and I sit there as if I'm invisible, just observing everyone and questioning myself. Yesterday was one of the most heart-rending days I've experienced in a while, where saying my goodbyes to you was now showing that I mean every word of what I said. For the whole day, I analysed my thoughts and feelings and came to the conclusion that I was empty and felt that there was no life left in me. I found myself wanting to be around you so badly but couldn't bare to speak a cent. In the evening when I went out for a smoke, I sat there on the concrete steps listening to the sound of sadness blaring from my phone. I hear the door open, and there he stands holding a cigarette. I quickly look away, and act as if he didn't exist; but as my thoughts wander off, my brain rapes my emotions; telling me "I can't do this", I can not do this".. all I wanted to do is burst into tears and be comforted. As time went by I noticed that I was the only one upset about this, so I began to associate with him a little, where my heart let out a bit of a sigh and I just let go. I had no more energy in trying to not talk to him, it was poring the energy away keeping all theses thoughts in my head. It still is. As midnight hit, I said my goodbyes to the others whom were amazingly welcome to me and then I set back on my last words for the next few months to the one I love with all my heart. My heart pounding and my voice shaking and quiet, I opened the door and said I was leaving, as he looked over he showed a bit of sympathy and returned the goodbye.I never knew that saying goodbye twice would be even more difficult.
274 · Dec 2014
Emptiness
Clare udy Dec 2014
Have you ever closed your eyes and wondered what it would be like if you didn't say goodbye to the one you love?
Have you ever felt a tear slowly wander down your cheek? I do. Ever since I said goodbye. I feel sick to my stomach every second of the day knowing that I can never talk to you properly again. I ruined it. It's been almost a week now and has gone incredibly fast but also heartrenchingly slow at the same time. I haven't been sleeping, I haven't been talking, I don't want to be around anyone, and when I do sleep I never want to wake up.
235 · Jan 2017
Untitled
Clare udy Jan 2017
Foot on the pedal as far as it can go, inhaling what feels like my last cigarette. My mind is so far beyond forgiveness, all I want to do is end this.
With scars on my legs, and bags under my eyes, I sit in my car by the cemetery, contemplating wether to be with the silent and invisible or go back home.

— The End —