they say that i'll get over him
but when they say that they aren't thinking about the same things as me

about how he moved on inside of two weeks after we broke up
and how i had loved him unconditionally for the past 9 months of my life
or how he knows my secrets and i know his and that's what trust is, right?

he wasn't mine
and i think i believed that he was for too long
and now it's turned into a habit

he stood in front of her, his back against his car, one hand in a pocket, the other in his hair
he bites his lip nervously, she looks frightened
"Hey, I'm sorry but I guess I just don't feel the same anymore." he mumbles, apologetically
she folds her arms in front of her, and just whispers 'no' over and over again
he turns away from her, doesn't make eye contact, doesn't brush the stray lock of hair behind her ear
his car door clicks shut behind him, and nothing stirs but leaves as he drives away
she stares after it, shocked, frozen in place, before sinking to the curb underneath the white-blue streetlamp
the hourly train hustles by on its tracks and the murmur of voices is distant
she wraps her cardigan tighter around her middle and only stands after she's sure her stomach is back in her  body and her lungs remember how to breathe
slowly, she walks back inside and the outside continues as it usually does, and she is falling apart inside

she still remembers the way his voice sounded
and how his eyes looked under florescent light
blue grey and sad

my being aches
from the top of my head down to my weary and worn feet
in every spot your fingers have ever trailed
my skin feels battered and bruised
and in every spot your lips have ever landed a kiss
my bones feel broken
even when the time comes where there is not a cell on me that you have touched
i will feel as though you brushed against me not but two days ago
i am so incredibly sad and my insides hurt
and i can't throw up the pain inside my chest because it's decided it's hollow enough to make a home

i can think of a thousand reasons why i shouldn't love you
but i can only focus on the two reasons why i should

there was a letter stuck between the pages of my journal
that i forgot i had
it was from you

you had written to me how much happiness i gave you
and how you would do anything as long as it was with me
you told me you loved me

i cried when you gave it to me and now i'm crying as i'm reading it
thinking about how i put so much stock into the scribbled words
how i took it as a promise that you'd always love me

and i promised that i'd never leave you

i kept up my end of the promise
so i'm giving you the letter back to let you know the deal is off
i'm still here saying "as long as it's with you..."

The stars said " I love you" and moon said "Me too"
And Jupiter said "Whoever does not love is only a fool."

The sun said "Be bright", the earth said "Be bold"
And Venus nodded, saying  "Find yourself somebody to hold."

Mars circled a little closer and said "Do not waver"
So Uranus smiled gently and said "Don't let others see you quaver."

Neptune told you "There's so much to see"
And Mercury said "It does not take much to know you are free."

So Pluto called out, saying "There's much more to know!"
The universe agreed, and said "There's more time to grow."

The Milky Way murmured "Keep your love at your core"
And I looked up and said "I will always love you more."

Do not hold a grudge against yourself
For not forgiving the one who hurt you most.
Forgive yourself instead,
For letting them turn around
For letting them stand up as you sit down.

If they cannot handle your brightness
Your darkness
Your heavy
And your light
Then why feel bad for instead keeping them at a distance?

Do not feel as though they should be forgiven
Just because they shouted a halfhearted "sorry" from a distance.
Do not hold a grudge against yourself
For not forgiving the one that made you hard to the world.

The cars hiss by on the wet pavement
You stand and watch, invisible, still, and quiet.
A raindrop hits your nose and rolls off the steep cliff of your bottom lip

There's a dog, jogging past on soft paws
Water arches behind it's wagging tail
Wet fur sways under its belly

The sky is splitting above you
Lightning unaware that you are standing in the exact spot
It would like to strike

But you move a foot to your left
And it continues on with its angry rumblings
A continuous murmur in the clouds

People pass by and look startled your way
Because their shoulder happened to greet yours
But what they cannot see they fear

And the night descends as you stand on the bustling street corner
The shops close down and the lights dim to accommodate the darkness
And you stand invisible, still, and quiet.