you make my heart feel
like it's being submerged in sweet agony
and tender love

it's such a contradicting feeling
that one would think it hurts

but it reminds me that you chose me
and i'm choosing you too

A flit of fingers
Across delicate curves
Gentle folds
Webbing surfaces

There
*Then gone

There are forgotten words hanging over my chest
Dangling like freshly shattered glass spread across a navy quilted glass
Glittering in the sunny heavens as they fall and spray painful reminders
Of the past into the still air
Heavy hanging fruits of our labours so long ago
A sigh
A touch
A vague impression of your body pressed into mine from those days we spent
Sometimes the words fall
Impaling my heart and my eyes fill
Unbidden
With happy tears, or liquid anger clouding memories of golden laughter

Watch out for those
They hurt the worst

Days like today were days when I knew nostalgia
Was just a fancy word for revenge
Today felt like it should have belonged in a summer a year and a half ago
One that belonged to him and I together

It felt as if I should be over at his house, sitting in his basement,
A foot and a half apart on the couch playing Black Ops
Me jokingly
Him sarcastically

It felt like a day when we should have been pressed up tight
On his piano bench, him laughing at my aversion to playing in front of him
Laughing because he hauled the piano all the way from his room
Because I wanted to play and we weren't allowed alone near his bed

It felt like a day that we should have been heard from the back of his yard
The sky endless before us, the same as his eyes
A blue expanse of settling sun and waking moon
A sky with laughter in it's deepest reaches

It felt like a day where he would be laughing at my smile
Grinning at me with a crooked hitch in the corner
And I would be blushing back and giggling like chimes
Both of us brushing our arms together as means of making sure we were real

And both of us looking
Looking at each other and living and breathing and being.

It felt like a day that we were both loving.

I have figured out that when I am sad
I am so filled with words that I can hardly contain that sadness

But when I am happy,
There's nothing left to say

And I don't know if that's numbness
Or emptiness that makes me mute

i tried pulling new boys closer to me so that
maybe i could feel some semblance of how things used to be
but none of them felt the same as you
and i think that's what hurt me the most